Fern Flower
by Stokrot
Summary: About a chance meeting that turned out to be fateful...


**1. **

He stopped in the shadows, trying to sense anything. Listening out was useless — after all, he was dealing with the onmitsukidou corps, who moved as stealthily and quietly as cats. Nevertheless, if they were trying to hide their presence completely, they couldn't deceive Ichimaru Gin. The slightest trace of their reiatsu was enough for him to detect the opponent and eliminate the danger.

Gin concentrated. From what he could tell, there was nobody around. Good… It seemed he had managed to effectively… dispose of pursuit.

He let out a sigh of relief. It would be highly undesirable if the break-in into Seireitei's secret archives transpired too soon. He also couldn't risk being recognized…

He unwrapped the fabric covering his face and hair. The silk was damp with sweat. Gin winced slightly: he had expected this venture would be quite nerve-racking, but what he had gotten to know was too much even for him.

Ichimaru Gin closed his eyes, resting his head against the tree trunk.

Everything had almost gone as planned. Having evaded the guards and protective spells, he had managed to get unnoticed into the Central 46 restricted residential area — and then he had gone underground, to a place he shouldn't have even heard about. In fact, only a few people in Seireitei had officially known about its existence — Gin not being among them — but firstly, his hearing was very excellent, and secondly, he could draw the right conclusion even from the faintest premises.

Seireitei had its secrets and was guarding them with all its might. Yet, since there were secrets, there must have been a place to hide them. And what could possibly be a better location for the secret archives than a place no-one from the outside could reach? That was what Gin had assumed, and a hidden investigation had proved him to be right.

He had tried, then — and he hadn't been disappointed. Of course, there had been a high-level kidou spell protecting the entrance, yet, with some effort, he had managed to break it — and nothing had stood anymore between him and the information he had been seeking for.

He had wanted to know — at least, he had believed so back then — what had both Aizen and Yamamoto Genryuusai wished to acquire. And who the hell Urahara Kisuke, the former captain of the Twelfth Division, whose name he had seen many times in Aizen Sousuke's notes, really was.

Gin swallowed. He'd had no time to read through all the documentation, but he had regretted it less and less with every passing minute. To be honest, he was gradually reaching the conclusion it would have been best not to look into Urahara's notes. He would gladly remain ignorant of some matters…

One thing he was sure of: if he had been aware before all those years what mess he had been going to get himself into, he would have never agreed. Especially considering the fact that little had changed in his predicament…

He sighed, involuntarily clenching his fists. The pain in his right arm brought him back to reality. Gin cursed under his breath. No matter how much he had tried, he hadn't been able to avoid fighting the ninja — and his shikai was too distinctive to be used. Taking into consideration that the onmitsukidou corps had consisted of about thirty people, there wasn't anything strange in the fact that he had been a bit scraped and bruised after the battle. His most serious injury was a cut on his forearm — a keepsake from one of the ninja's tanto. Though the attacker had paid rather high price for that, right now it was little consolation to Gin — it seemed as he was going to have some problems with wielding his sword in the nearest future. The wound wasn't deep, but it was painful and bled quite a lot. That could pose a problem: the blood-loss itself to a lesser degree than the risk of leaving a trail. That would be really inconvenient… While it was true that he had been using shunpo during his escape, then still…

Once again he let out a sigh and then, helping himself with his teeth, he tore a strip of fabric off his sleeve and clumsily bandaged his wounded arm. That would have to do for now — it would be great to have the injury miraculously healed, all the more since it would save him looking for a convincing excuse. However, Gin knew that he couldn't count on such miracle; he should rather think about what to do in his current position…

He knitted his eyebrows. According to his original plan, he was supposed to hide in some rarely frequented place — and then to come back, as if nothing had happened, in the morning. Fortunately, his night-time strolls were common knowledge in the Fifth Division, and Gin didn't have to sneak out in secret. All he'd had to do not to raise any suspicions had been to return at the right moment — namely before noon on the next day. He wasn't a fool — he had been carefully masking his reiatsu for the whole evening. What he hadn't predicted, though, was this wound. A cut, on top of that. He would be able to rationally explain any other injury: the kidou burns, bruises and such. But not a cut.

He shook his head, wincing slightly. Although it was hard to admit, he had overestimated himself this time — however, realizing that didn't help him at all. And it definitely wasn't going to help him find a solution to this plight.

The problem was Gin didn't feel like deliberating on it now, however risky it could be. For the time being, he felt only an overpowering need to rest and finally be at ease, specially as the tension left him, giving place to weariness.

He took a look around. He was aware that after, all his flight, he wasn't anywhere near Central 46 anymore; at the moment he was hiding in one of Seireitei's many groves. Yet, only now he noticed the lights flickering in distant windows of some large building and he realized where he had found himself.

Behind the trees he could see the dorms of the Shinigami Academy. Considering the many lights, there was going to be some kind of massive test on the next day. Or there was a drinking bout on a large scale going on. From his own student's life Gin knew that both these options were equally possible.

He smiled to himself — but his smile soon turned into a wince, when Gin realized that being in vicinity of the Academy wasn't to his advantage. On the other hand, it might be better to hide in the wood surrounding it — it was not likely he would meet anyone here, at this time of night — than to meet one of the omnipresent patrols while trying to get into a more secluded place, and to expose himself to unwelcome questions. If he even were to meet one of the Academy students, it would be easy to put him off with some lame excuse — he hoped so, at least. What was more, the students in general weren't known for getting up at first light — and Gin only needed shelter until morning. Before the first classes he would already be safe and sound in the Fifth Division barracks…

Unless he was going to meet someone overzealous… If that was going to be the case, then he could only hope to somehow lie his way out of trouble the injury on his arm could cause.

He pursed his lips. Too many "ifs". Too much depended on luck alone — and Gin knew all too well he could run of luck any moment. He reprimanded himself: he had been too careless, he should have better predicted all the possibilities, he should have…

Enough. Blaming himself now, after everything was over, wouldn't change a thing. He drew a deep breath, making an attempt to think rationally. He had broken-in into the most secret place in Seireitei — and during his escape he had also disposed of a whole, probably secret as well, onmitsukidou corps. Until someone found out about their disappearance the break-in itself would also remain unnoticed — and, once it would be discovered, the Central 46 would undoubtedly try to investigate the case themselves, wanting to avoid a stir about that. Only then they would ask the Gotei 13 for help — so for now Gin had nothing to worry about, unless he would raise unnecessary suspicions. It left him with nothing else than discreetly get out of the forest and take care of his wound — and that shouldn't pose any problem to him. After all, ever since he had arrived in Seireitei, he had been continuously woven his way through lies and deception — there was no way he couldn't find an excuse in such a trivial matter.

Right now he should concentrate on the most important thing: getting some rest. He shouldn't unnecessarily strain himself if he wanted to leave that place safely — especially knowing he had already been weakened because of the blood-loss.

He looked into the sky. The moon in its first quarter was shining through the tree branches, not giving much light — and so favoring the ones who wanted to stay hidden that night.

Gin smiled wryly and headed deeper into the forest.

Till morning, then.

**2.**

The morning was bathed in gold and amber. Soft, warm light, filtered through the treetops, painted the autumn leaves with its color, shimmered in the dew drops and turned the cobwebs into strings of precious jewels. Kira Izuru breathed the brisk morning air, feeling content. It was early — Abarai-kun would probably say it was still night — and a little cold, yet Kira didn't mind. At dawn the grove looked most beautiful, especially now, at the beginning of fall, when it showed its rich palette of yellows, reds and browns. Kira smiled dreamily. Sometimes he felt that he might be able to enclose some of this beauty in one of his shy attempts of writing poetry; however, as a rule, he quickly shoved that thought away, considering it much too bold. Besides, even if he tried to do so, then, most probably, he wouldn't find enough courage to show the poem to anyone.

He didn't even notice when he reached the bank of a forest stream. The sun was still too low to light the sparkles on the water surface, and the brook babbled softly under the green shade of trees. Light morning mist rose over the stream — and Kira once again felt this blissful, undefined calm, incomparable to anything else.

He sat cautiously on a fallen tree trunk; the grass was still moist with dew. He liked to come here — somehow, this place made him forget about his everyday's dilemmas, and his troubles seemed far away. Here, in the soft light of golden mornings, listening to the sounds of the stream, Kira Izuru felt that he had his place in the world, even if he still hadn't found his goal.

He looked above thoughtfully, at the colorful treetops. Of course, he still wanted to become a Shinigami and he dreamt that one day he'd equal the elites of Gotei13. At first, he had even admitted it openly, yet in time, when the reality slowly, but mercilessly, verified his skills, he had hidden that dream deep in his heart. It didn't mean that he gave up, though; quite the contrary, he was trying harder every day. Last evening, for example, they'd spent long hours studying high-rank spells' incantations together with Abarai-kun as they were to have a kidou test at the end of the week. Truth to tell, Abarai-kun had looked quite stressed up because of that, and the fact there had been a party going on the upper floors of the dorms — the elder years had been celebrating their successfully passed repeat exams — definitely hadn't been helping at all. To Kira such behavior appeared pretty strange — what fun could there be in drinking the whole night?

Actually, it seemed he wasn't the only one to think that way. Kira remembered his bewilderment at seeing Hisagi-senpai at their doorstep in the middle of the night, begging to be allowed to stay and learn with them in relative peace. Of course, it hadn't even occurred to them to refuse, especially that Hisagi Shuuhei found himself in rather delicate situation right now. He had spent the most of summer exams in the Fourth Division's hospital, receiving treatment for his injuries, sustained during the unexpected Hollow attack during the practice in the living world — the very same one that Kira and his friends also remembered all too well. Because of that, he had to take his final exams in autumn, together with those who hadn't passed theirs the first time. Probably that was why Hisagi-senpai seemed so nervous — even more than Abarai-kun before their kidou test.

Kira discreetly yawned. As a matter of fact, he was a bit sleepy this morning — but one couldn't let the admired Hisagi Shuuhei sleep on the floor. Therefore, Izuru had offered him his own bed, choosing to sleep on the blanket by the window. He'd also gone to sleep much later than others; after revising the incantations once again, he had, almost instinctively, looked through the last lecture notes. At times, Abarai-kun laughed up at his scrupulousness, jokingly calling him a nerd and a bookworm, and deep in his heart Kira agreed with him. Yet, he wanted to be entirely sure that he was going all out, even if from time to time he still had a feeling that he was trying to bite off more than he could chew.

He sighed quietly. Abarai-kun still exceeded him when it came to fighting; Kira, however, had made his own progress, especially in terms of speed. And he still excelled in kidou, though Hinamori-san was gradually gaining on him, slowly closing the gap between them. And yet, even though they were rivals in so many areas, there were no ill feelings between them. They supported each other for better and for worse and they could count on one another, no matter the situation. For Kira, who had never considered himself neither too confident, nor good at showing his feelings — something he envied others, in fact — this feeling of having someone close to him was truly important.

And still… he couldn't fully open his heart to anyone, even to his best friends. There were times when he was haunted by an incomprehensible longing… A longing for a special, hard to define, bond, one that would give meaning to his life and make it complete. In times like this morning he felt, more than ever before, that one day he would get what he was yearning for.

He closed his eyes, listening to the gurgle of water and the gentle rustle of leaves moving in the wind. Kira heard birds' song coming from afar and he smiled. So beautiful… So peaceful… If only it could always be like that…

He was sitting like that for some time, listening to the voices of nature and his own soul, when a sudden noise behind him broke him out of his reverie. Izuru looked back, squinting. The noise wasn't too loud or too alarming, but some stubborn voice in the back of Kira's mind told him to rise and check it out. _It's probably just an animal_, he thought, approaching rather impressive clump of ferns. _A fox or something… _

He carefully parted the feathery leaves and froze because what he saw was beyond his expectations.

Among the ferns, soundly asleep, there lay the Fifth Division's Lieutenant, Ichimaru Gin.

Kira blinked, stunned, but the sleeping form clearly didn't intend to disappear. He gulped nervously. What should he do? And… how had the officer gotten here? Unfortunately, he didn't know the answer to any of these questions, and wondering about that wasn't going to change a thing, including the fact that he didn't know what he should do at all. He would never dare to wake the officer up, but, on the other hand, he felt strangely reluctant to leave this place, even if to let Lieutenant Ichimaru rest peacefully. Besides, the officer might need help and Kira would never forgive himself if he just left someone in need to his fate. What options he had left?

For a moment, he just stood there, unmoving, and trying to find a solution to this awkward situation, yet soon his first surprise wore off, all the doubts considering the reasons behind a Gotei high-rank officer's presence on the Academy grounds were blown away, and Kira Izuru found himself wondering about completely different matters. He realized that he was watching Ichimaru Gin, and suddenly it seemed to him like the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was the dreamlike atmosphere of this morning, but to Kira Lieutenant Ichimaru looked as if he was woven out of moonlight… as if he was a being from another world. It seemed light was seeping from his sleeping form, surrounding him in an eerie glow, and the officer's hair, spilled in disarray and contrasting vividly with dark green of moss, gleamed with purest silver. Kira knelt on the still damp grass. He felt like touching these silvery strands and checking for himself if they were as soft as he thought them to be, yet, in the very last second, he stopped his extended hand, not wanting to destroy the ethereal beauty of this moment. Lieutenant Ichimaru looked so peaceful and so helpless… so innocent at the same time. Warmth, resulting from tenderness, filled up Izuru's heart.

'Who are you? An angel?' he whispered involuntarily, once again reaching with his hand, and at the same moment he realized he had said these words aloud.

The realization made him come back to his senses, and Kira blushed fiercely. He had to be going crazy: he was sitting in the forest and staring at a man! _But not just any man_, the voice in his mind squealed. _He's Ichimaru Gin, the lieutenant of the Fifth Division! So much the worse for you_, his common sense interrupted. _You haven't even felt his reiatsu! And you are to become a Shinigami?_

Kira bit his lip. A Shinigami's life was far from the poetic ideas of peace. It was an unceasing battle and it required vigilance, resolve and keeping all wits about one, no matter the plight. He lacked all of it, and reality kept reminding him about that again and again, uncovering his other flaws and weaknesses as well. He hadn't detected Lieutenant's Ichimaru reiatsu even standing but a few steps from him! Was that something he could be proud of…?

_Mind you, he hasn't felt you either_, the voice pointed out as a consolation, but the common sense only snorted. _So what? He would defeat you before you could do as much as blink…_

Kira dropped his gaze. Right. Before him, in the ferns, there slept one of the best Gotei13 officers, Ichimaru Gin of the Fifth Division. Whoever he could seem to Kira in his stupid, poetic musings, first of all he was a recognized Shinigami, considered by many to be a genius. Izuru was of the same opinion. He remembered that terrifying night of Hollow attack all too well, but his most vivid memories referred to Lieutenant Ichimaru, who, with just one strike of his Shinsou, gleaming in the silver moonlight, had defeated several Hollows. The very same Hollows the four of them hadn't been able slay, even with Hisagi Shuuhei with them.

Though, truth to tell, Kira wasn't really sure if he had the right to take the credit for this fight. He had done little to nothing before he had been paralyzed with fear that had turned the Shinigami-to-be into a useless cry-baby, shaking like a jelly.

Izuru's hands clenched his hakama's blue fabric. Shinigami. A Death God. A name so fitting for Ichimaru Gin seemed but a pathetic joke when applied to Kira.

_All I can do is to tremble in fear_, he thought bitterly. _I am hopeless… just hopeless… _

He sighed painfully and almost choked on his breath, suddenly feeling cold steel at his throat. He froze, not daring to move a muscle, and at the same time another part of his mind realized that the ferns hadn't even rustled. _I'd have no chance_, he thought. _He could have killed me if he'd only wished to… and I wouldn't been able to do a thing… _

The blade was withdrawn, and just now Izuru became aware of the fact that he was facing Ichimaru Gin for some time already. Instinctively, Kira brought his hands to his throat, gasping for breath. His heart was racing. Was it even possible to him to react that quickly? Ever? Ridiculous! He was never going to be Lieutenant Ichimaru's equal, even if he was to learn for ages. And he dared to dream about becoming an officer? What did he think? He was barely fitted to be a Shinigami at all… and only if the Fourth Division agreed to employ him out of pity as the sewers' cleaner. How could he ever count on anything more?

_You're shaking once again_, his common sense cut in with caustic satisfaction. _And what's the use of that?_

_Right_, stated Kira, trying to regain his composure. During his first meeting with Lieutenant Ichimaru he had been a trembling bundle of fear, and if he wanted to be treated seriously now, he should at least try to make a better impression. On the other hand, how was he supposed to calm down quickly if he'd had a razor-sharp sword at his throat mere moments before?

'Oh, it's ya, Izuru-kun,' he heard at the same moment. Ichimaru Gin's voice sounded as if he'd just played a magnificent joke. 'Ya gotta forgive me, I tend to react a bit nervously when I get up on the wrong side of the bed… Seems I've scared ya a bit, umm?'

Kira knew he should answer, yet he couldn't even find the courage to look up. What was more, the officer's words sounded disconcertingly like "it's only you." Just the little, harmless, worthless Izuru, not even worth bothering about. _Well, he still recognized you_, the voice in his mind noted consciously, but it didn't really raise Kira's spirits. Actually, how could he expect anything else? He was just nobody… Why should a Gotei 13 Lieutenant care about him at all?

'Ya need to stop shakin', Izuru-kun,' the officer's breath tickled Kira's ear all of a sudden. Izuru drew a sharp breath. 'If ya stay so, ya won't be reliable, ya know. Though…' added Ichimaru Gin in both dreamy and amused tone, 'I actually like jellies a lot. But not as much as persimmons, ya know.'

Kira blinked, somewhat dazed. The very prospect of conversation with the Fifth Division's lieutenant was something beyond his imaginations, and he would never expect to hear such words from him. He looked up shyly.

'L-… Lieutenant Ichimaru…'

Ichimaru Gin gave him a wide smile and raised his hands in an apologetic gesture.

'Just joking,' he admitted, rising to his feet. 'I mean, the part about persimmons was no joke. And the one about jellies either…' he added after a moment's thought. For a while, he was watching the treetops, then he shifted his intent gaze to Kira. 'Everythin' alright, Izuru-kun?' he asked. 'Ya look a bit pale… I bet ya've been sittin' here without breakfast or anythin', haven't ya?'

Kira hesitated, still too embarrassed to utter a single word._ Go on_, the voice in the back of his mind urged him. _Say something before he thinks that you're a half-wit…_

He took a deep breath.

'Yes…' he stuttered. 'I mean, no… I mean, I'm alright, Lieutenant, sir.'

Ichimaru Gin kept looking at him for a moment, his gaze impenetrable, just to turn around seconds later and start examining their surroundings. Kira realized he was staring and quickly looked away. He was the Academy's student, not some Rukongai kid. He shouldn't behave as if he met a Gotei 13 officer for the first time in his life!

''Tis pretty nice in here,' stated Lieutenant Ichimaru, breaking off from his contemplation, 'but it's time for me to go, Izuru-kun.' He stretched himself, smoothing his clothes. Kira furrowed his brows upon seeing that the officer was clearly sparing his right arm. What could be the reason for that? Was he wounded?

_Besides, what's he doing here?_, his common sense suddenly became interested. _A Gotei13 lieutenant is found sleeping in the Academy grove, and he looks injured on top of that. Isn't that a bit… surprising? _

Kira Izuru raised an eyebrow. Indeed, there was some deal of truth in that; still, on the other hand…

'Of course, 'I'd be grateful if this meeting stayed our little secret, Izuru-kun…' Ichimaru Gin, still standing with his back to Kira, cast him a mischievous glance over his shoulder. 'Hope we understand each other well?'

Izuru gulped. He felt trapped. In fact, there could be but one answer to that question, and yet…

_He's hiding!_, Kira's common sense yelled triumphantly. _Aren't you curious what is he up to? How can you know that he means well? _

_Nonsense!_, the rebellious voice protested violently. _If his intentions were ill, he would have killed you at the very beginning. Without leaving a single trace… _

_Why don't you ask him why he's here, then?_

_And would he tell me the truth even if I asked him?_ Kira finally managed to gain control over his thoughts. _Besides… I have no right to meddle in Gotei13's affairs…_

_So you're going to trust him just because he's a Gotei13 officer?_, his common sense asked mockingly, Izuru, however, denied it right away.

_No… I'm going to trust him because I feel I should… _

His common sense snorted in disdain, yet Kira ignored it.

'Of course, Lieutenant, sir,' he replied, straightening up.

Ichimaru Gin's smile became even wider.

'Bye-bye then, Izu-…'

'Please wait, Lieutenant, sir,' escaped Izuru's lips before he could stop himself. He was aware his current actions were quite bold, and the thought of it made him blush, yet something deep inside him objected to Lieutenant Ichimaru's leaving like that. _That's it_, the voice in his mind cried happily. _Show him what you've got! Go on!_

'M-maybe I could be of some help,' he muttered hesitantly. He still couldn't believe that he actually dared to seize the initiative. Ichimaru Gin gave him a look of mixed interest and amusement.

'Umm?'

_Think_, Izuru ordered himself frantically. _Don't make him wait too long. His arm… Concentrate._

He squinted his eyes, analyzing all the symptoms he noticed. The way Lieutenant Ichimaru moved his arm — or rather didn't, definitely trying to take it easy while gesturing… The fact that after his awakening he'd held the sword in his left hand…

Putting all these together, it suggested…

'Your forearm muscles seem to be damaged, Lieutenant, sir,' he stated, much to his own surprise. He was pretty glad he had been paying attention to Lieutenant Kotetsu's lectures last year. 'Your flexors, most probably.'

Lieutenant Ichimaru turned around to face him, a mysterious smile playing upon his lips.

'Yer… familiar with healing stuff, Izuru-kun?'

Kira felt his blush deepen and reprimanded himself for that. After all, he promised himself to keep his actions up to the mark.

'Just the basics, naturally, but…'

'Alright,' Ichimaru Gin interjected, surprising Kira once again. Izuru didn't expect that the officer would agree so easily. 'What shall I do, Izuru-kun?'

Kira quickly thought it over.

"If I may, Lieutenant, sir,' he began a bit shyly. 'If you could…'

He broke off, seeing that Lieutenant Ichimaru brought a hand to his ear as if he didn't hear him. Izuru bit his lip.

'What is it, Izuru-kun?' asked the Fifth Division's lieutenant meanwhile. 'A doctor should have authority,' he paused for a moment as if giving Kira the time to think. 'What shall I do, then?'

Kira took a deep breath._ Authority_, he thought. _Alright…_

'Please sit down, lieutenant,' he instructed, hoping that his voice sounded firm. 'And roll up your sleeve.'

Ichimaru Gin gave him another of his wide smiles.

'Always obey the doctor…'

**3.**

Ichimaru Gin was impressed, he had to admit that. Who would have expected that a second-year student of the Academy would be so skilled at using medical kidou? The boy had cleaned the wound in no time, then he had stopped the bleeding and right now he was busy with connecting the injured muscles. Those fle-something. Up to this morning Gin hadn't even been aware of their existence.

He looked closely at Kira Izuru, bending over his arm. He had no idea how the boy managed with curing other ailments, but, from what Gin could tell, at least in healing the wounds Kira had already been equal to the lower ranked officers under Captain Unohana's command.

To be honest, though, after taking a better look at Kira Izuru's skill, Gin wished him more than just a place in the Fourth Division. In fact, he found that quite interesting: he had remembered the boy as one of Aizen's "chosen-ones" and back then he couldn't have understood that choice. The first meeting with Kira, at the night of Hollows' attack, hadn't left a deep impression on him. In his memory, there had remained an image of a pale, frightened kid, unable to move a finger in the face of danger. Of course, he had kept in mind that Aizen had been looking for subordinates who would be easy to manipulate, something that Kira Izuru seemed to be made for. Still, Gin had assumed the chosen ones had to have some potential — and Kira had seemed to have none. To Gin, he had been merely a sluggish, wishy-washy scaredy cat — even Hinamori Momo had looked more self-confident.

Here and now, yet, it seemed he met quite different Kira Izuru; the longer Gin watched him, the more he became aware how unfair he had been in his opinion. Kira looked ambitious and hard-working, though a little unstable emotionally. Gin could feel this uncertainty in the boy's reiatsu — so erratic at first that it had given the Fifth Division's Vice-Captain a headache. It had calmed down, however, once Kira had started the treatment. Now it was steady, kind and undeniably strong — something Gin hadn't noticed before. He looked at Kira intently, his eyes nothing more than narrow slits. The future Shinigami was still concentrated on healing, the greenish glow of medical kidou surrounding Gin's wounded forearm. The officer suddenly realized that the pain he'd been feeling up to this moment was gone and once again he reflected on the advantages of knowing at least the basics of anatomy, though it might seem useless to an average Shinigami. It wasn't even about using this knowledge in treatment — the healers definitely weren't the most respected ones in Soul Society. Yet, how much more effective in battle would be a Shinigami who knew precisely where to find his opponent's weakest spots…

_Assuming that the opponent would be a Shinigami as well_, Gin cut himself short. Moreover, Kira Izuru didn't look like someone who could become a cold blooded assassin. However, he could have other talents. Putting medical knowledge into practice required a sharp eye, an instant understanding of the situation and a steady hand even under the most stressful circumstances. These were valuable features, desirable for every Gotei13 officer, not only for the ones of the Fourth Division. The only thing Kira seemed to lack was the ability to quickly make decisions — still, it wasn't something he couldn't learn, especially considering his young age.

Gin sighed inwardly. To think he could have killed Kira just after waking up — that was what instinct had suggested him. Nevertheless, he was happy he hadn't done it, although he couldn't tell why. It had nothing to do with the fact that Kira Izuru was Aizen's chosen ones — even though the boy's death might somehow displease that scum. It was not because Gin would actually feel bad about taking the life of the Academy's student, either — even though he had killed a whole ninja corpse a few hours before. The boy had a future as a Shinigami, and that could be one of the reasons behind Gin's actions, though not the only one. Gin had a vague feeling there was something more, yet what it could be he didn't know. Still, there were no reasons for Kira to face consequences of Ichimaru Gin's stupid mistakes…

He clenched his teeth. He was still angry at himself. How could be so reckless? He could have met his doom that night and his mission would have ended in disaster. He shouldn't have let it happen and yet, though he'd known the weight of responsibility placed on him, he had behaved like… Well, like a kid. Gin couldn't believe that he had made such foolish mistakes after he'd gotten through the more difficult and more dangerous part of his task. Still, first he had let them wound him and then — which had put him in an ever greater danger — he had fallen asleep while hiding, only to be discovered in the end by a mere Academy student. _Alright, maybe not your everyday one_, he corrected himself, though it still wasn't something to be proud about. And what if he had met someone else than Kira?

He thought over that for a moment. With any other student he would have kept his ground without any problems; however, he would most probably have to use a little… different means. But, if he had encountered any of the teachers, the matters might have gotten much more complicated. First of all, they were in most cases outstanding Shinigami with skills on much higher level than their students. Secondly, many of them knew Ichimaru Gin, and his presence in such an unlikely place might have filled them with consternation. The questions would have arisen — ones Gin couldn't answer without taking even greater risk. Now, in the bright daylight all the deficiencies of his plans seemed much graver than last night.

His gaze was once again drawn to the healing kidou, seeping from Kira Izuru's hands. _Precision_, he thought. That boy knew its significance well. Shinigami couldn't afford themselves to make mistakes during missions, and someone like Ichimaru Gin, who kept his actions in secret, should be even more careful. Did he, a Gotei 13 lieutenant and Yamamoto Genryuusai's spy, really need an encounter with a student to remember that?

Still, he had to admit that Kira's behavior was also somewhat strange. The boy had discovered Gin's presence while he had been sleeping, thus being completely defenseless. Gin had been sensible enough to mask his reiatsu, but they had met by pure chance. Kira, however, hadn't even tried to, for example, inform one of his superiors about the intruder. Instead, he had been simply… sitting beside him, which suddenly seemed quite illogical to Gin. After all, how could the boy know that Gin wasn't going to hurt him once he woke up?

What was even more interesting: even though Kira's actions seemingly lacked logic, Gin couldn't call him mindless. It looked as if he judged the matters on some completely different level, incomprehensible for Ichimaru Gin — like in the moment when he had promised to keep silent about their meeting. Gin had noticed his hesitation back then and he knew that he hadn't gained Kira's trust just because he was a Gotei13 officer. The boy'd had his doubts and yet he'd decided to give Gin a chance. The officer could only wonder what drove him…

He shifted his gaze to Kira Izuru and furrowed his brows slightly. The boy looked paler than before; there were beads of sweat on his forehead, and his breath was coming in gasps. Suddenly Gin realized that Kira could drop from exhaustion any moment. _Right_, he thought. Skillful healer though he was, the boy had been sitting here since dawn, possibly with no breakfast, using up his strength to help him. Gin felt a pang of guilt. He shouldn't exploit Kira any longer.

'That'd be enough, Izuru-kun,' he said in his usual, carefree tone. The boy raised his head abruptly, looking at him with surprised, dark blue eyes. Gin smiled.

'I'm as good as new,' he explained, nodding towards his almost fully healed arm. 'The rest will heal on its own. By the way…' he added, looking at Kira mischievously, 'shouldn't you be going to your classes yet?'

Kira Izuru paled even more as he looked up, clearly frightened, only to discover that the sun was been much higher than before. He jumped to his feet.

_He would be late… Maybe he's already been late_, Gin realized, feeling somewhat guilty. Still, as far as he knew, the boy wasn't going to face any serious consequences…

He smiled, more or less apologetically.

'My bad, Izuru-kun… Seems I've taken too much of yer time…'

'It's nothing, Lieutenant, sir,' replied Kira quickly, bowing his head. 'If… If I had only been more skilled…'

'My thanks, Izuru-kun,' Gin interjected before the boy had the chance to finish. Seemingly, apart from all his qualities, Kira also had the tendency to take the blame on himself — even if he wasn't the one to blame. 'Thanks a lot.'

For a moment Kira just gazed at him, his eyes wide open, but then he dared to smile back at Gin. However, he soon became serious once again.

'If I may, Lieutenant, sir' he began softly. 'Please rest some more… You are still very tired, so… please stay here for a while. I… I'll try to come back between my classes and check on you…'

The boy's voice faltered at the last words, as if he suddenly felt ashamed of his boldness. Gin raised his eyebrows.

'Ya sound like true a professional, Izuru,' he replied, half-jokingly, half with appreciation, which resulted in Kira blushing fiercely. Gin almost chuckled at the thought that it actually gave him more color, but then he realized that the boy still awaited his answer.

'Oh, but of course, Izuru-kun,' he replied. 'After all, I promised to obey the doctor…'

Kira Izuru gave him another shy smile, yet he hesitated once again.

'In that case…'

'Ya better hurry, Izuru-kun. Unless ya want to be even more late.' Gin smiled wider at him. 'No need to care about me… I'll manage somehow before ya return…'

Kira blushed yet again, looking charming indeed, but this time he managed to regain his composure surprisingly quickly.

'Yes, Lieutenant, sir… Please wait for me here,' he added before he broke into a run.

_Have a nice day, Izuru_, thought Gin as he watched him go, and then he shook his head with a sigh. He had deliberately lied to the boy; he couldn't stay here any longer, the risk would be too great, and he'd pushed his luck enough. He could only hope that Kira wouldn't think bad of him because of that — Gin had lied to him, true, but it didn't change the fact that he still was more than grateful to Kira Izuru.

He stood up, looking at his arm, crossed only with a thin red scratch. How many problems would he avoid thanks to that? He wasn't sure himself, but he had a feeling that Kira had helped him more than he could realize.

_Well, there'll surely be a chance to somehow repay him_, Gin thought, at the same time focusing on his surroundings. He didn't see anything that could raise suspicions, yet this time he wanted to be utterly sure that nobody was around and that he, Ichimaru Gin, didn't left any obvious signs of his presence.

The ferns were a little crushed after he had taken a nap in their midst; still, they looked as if trampled by some animal. The grass under the tree — well, there were the signs of someone sitting there, but that could have been one of the students, couldn't it? And, surprisingly enough, not even a spot of blood anywhere… Gin let out a relieved sigh. He was indeed lucky…

He looked around once more. This place seemed really nice — maybe, if he visited it soon, he would again meet Kira sitting by the stream?

_Just wait a minute… Where has that thought come from?_

Gin shook his head. No time for such musings now. He should head back before someone in the Fifth Division would get interested in his continuing absence.

He cast one last glance at the Academy before turning around and disappearing between the trees.

**4. **

Kira was running through the grove, wishing that the shunpo classes had already started this semester. Unfortunately, he wasn't among those happy few who had known the basics before entering the Academy, though they weren't allowed to use it on their own, without knowing the safety measures at least. It wasn't much of a consolation, though. Considering the situation, he would most probably arrive in the middle of the classes, and it didn't make him feel better at all. Especially that these were the Reiatsu Control classes, and he couldn't allow himself to miss them — not after this morning events had proven his definite lack of skill in that field.

He would sigh if he weren't so busy catching his breath while he ran (_Fitness_, he thought, _I should work on that as well_), but soon his features brightened up a bit. Well, he knew he should practice reiatsu detecting skills; still, it didn't seem as important as what had happened by the stream.

Again he blushed. Lieutenant Ichimaru… Lieutenant Ichimaru was exactly the kind of person Kira had always imagined him to be: resolute, unfathomable and deadly efficient (Izuru shivered at the very memory of Shinsou's blade at his throat), but not all so distant as it could seem.

Kira smiled dreamily. He could barely believe that, but the Lieutenant of the Fifth Division hadn't criticized him even once, even though he definitely could. Well, he had allowed himself some jokes, like the one about persimmons and jellies (Kira blushed even more at the thought), yet there had been no malice in them. Quite the contrary, it seemed as if Lieutenant Ichimaru had tried to raise his spirits. Kira would never expect that a high-ranked Gotei 13 officer could behave that way. To him, the Shinigami elites were proud, serious and dignified beings, maybe even a little haughty; and the Gotei 13 high command seemed like statues — great, distant and adamant. Kira had assumed he should feel small, insignificant and pretty unworthy in their presence, and yet he hadn't felt like that in the least in Lieutenant's Ichimaru company. Actually, the officer contradicted the image Izuru had come up with: he was so approachable, natural… and he treated Kira as an equal, as if they weren't separated by the difference in age, skill, experience and position.

What was more, he had let Kira help him, though, in Izuru's opinion, he should have rather scolded him for his boldness. Kira felt warmth filling up his heart. Up to now he hadn't as much as dreamt about even meeting Lieutenant Ichimaru face-to-face, let alone about helping him. Still, he had been treated like a professional, though he was only a student, and, even if the officer had laughed at him inwardly, he hadn't shown it in any way. Izuru wasn't so bold to believe that Lieutenant Ichimaru had been as grateful to him as it had seemed; it didn't prevent him, however, from enjoying the words of appreciation. He felt happy that a Gotei 13 lieutenant had decided to put his trust in him, even though the thought that a high-ranked officer had to hide in the woods aroused Kira's anxiety. Nevertheless, Lieutenant Ichimaru had asked him to keep the promise, and Izuru wasn't going to break his word. Especially if a voice deep inside his heart kept telling him this was the right decision…

He tripped over a root and decided to pay a bit more attention to his surroundings. The trees grew here more sparsely, a sign he was approaching the edge of the wood. Kira Izuru quickened up his pace and soon he ran out of the grove. Now he just had to sprint past the dorms to the practice grounds. The classes took place outdoors because of strictly practical respects; it was said that in years before the students who couldn't control their reiatsu well had wreaked havoc in the classrooms. According to a school legend, one of these "unruly" students was the current captain of the Eight Division, Kyouraku Shunsui, who had supposedly managed to blow up a whole floor once. Kira found it really hard to imagine; still, today's events had just proved him wrong in his judgment about the Gotei 13 elites.

_Unless…_, Kira thought, blushing fiercely. _Unless Lieutenant Ichimaru was really special… _

Izuru reprimanded himself. He should rather concentrate on his classes instead of thinking about such things. Especially as it felt almost improper…

He crossed the lawn behind the Academy's main building, ran between the two practice halls and moments later he finally reached the spot. The whole class was concentrating on some task given by the teacher, so Izuru quietly made it sideways, not wanting to disrupt the lesson. The thought that he didn't report his being late at once weighed on him a little, but he didn't want to disturb others, so he decided to wait with it for the break. In the meantime, he kept looking for a familiar red head, silently hoping that his friends were practicing aside and that they would tell him what he missed. Luck seemed to be on his side, for suddenly he noticed there outrageously bright hair just several steps ahead. Kira rushed there as fast as he could.

'Kira!' Abarai Renji looked surprised, annoyed and relieved at his sight — all at the same time. 'Where have you been the whole morning? Hinamori's been all freaking out!'

'…, Abarai-kun!' Hinamori-san whispered. Izuru was grateful to her as Renji didn't quite understand what it meant to speak in undertone, and Kira didn't want to draw attention to themselves.

'I…' he began, but broke off after taking a look around. 'What are we practicing, actually?' he asked in incomprehension.

'Keeping our reiatsu stable,' grunted Renji rather ironically. Kira looked at him closely, then he shifted his gaze to other students.

'But…' he whispered, knitting his eyebrows, 'we passed it last year! In the first semester!'

'Try telling him that,' his friend just shrugged, pointing to the right. Kira looked in that direction and blinked, surprised.

'W-who is that?' he stuttered. 'Where's Hikari-sensei?'

'Hell if I know,' muttered Renji in reply. 'Some say he's on an unexpected mission, some that in the Fourth Division… but nobody knows for sure. And that one here didn't tell us anything…'

Kira looked at the teacher, who was standing with his back facing them. Suddenly he realized that he could feel his reiatsu all too well, while in the forest… _Stop_, his freshly awaken common sense scolded him. _No time for that… Concentrate!_

He closed his eyes, focusing his attention on their new professor's reiatsu — and he gulped, because it definitely didn't leave a pleasant impression. It seemed unstable, aggressive and even… cruel. Kira shivered. It didn't promise well for his nearest future…

'A nasty fellow, that one,' Abarai-kun confirmed Izuru's unspoken fears. 'Thinks he knows everything… and doesn't tolerate any objections…'

He broke off all of a sudden, giving Kira an intent look.

'What's with you?' he asked with a lopsided smile. 'All happy and blushing… if it were anybody else, I'd think you've been behind the greenhouse, grop-…'

'Abarai-kun!' Hinamori interrupted him in an indignant whisper, blushing quite surprisingly. Kira just blinked, stunned.

'The greenhouse? Why behind the greenhouse?' he began uncertainly. 'What do you mean, Abarai-kun?'

Renji was about to answer, yet he didn't make it in time. At the very same moment they heard a voice behind their backs, that none of them three expected. Izuru felt a sudden chill.

'I see you are determined to disturb this lesson,' said the teacher coldly. They turned around right away, and Kira started while looking into pale, disdainful eyes in a malcontent face. So his first impression was right, after all — it wasn't someone who'd show understanding…

What should they do now? Kira didn't know. His innate sense of justice urged him to speak and confess his guilt — hadn't he been late, this talk wouldn't take place at all. On the other hand, he had a gut feeling that in this case such behavior would be considered too bold. He bit his lips nervously, casting a quick glance at his friends. Abarai-kun clearly didn't know what to do, either.

Quite surprisingly, it was Hinamori-san who regained her composure first.

'We are deeply sorry, professor,' she said fervently and bowed. 'This will not happen again…'

'Silence!' the man interrupted her, unexpectedly sharply. 'I don't remember letting you speak.'

Hinamori went pale; for a moment it looked like she was going to utter another apology, but the teacher's ominous gaze successfully stopped her. She stepped back, hiding behind Renji, whose face expressed barely concealed irritation.

Kira also felt anger grow in him; in his case, however, it was aimed both at the teacher and himself, and it mingled with his sense of guilt. It wouldn't have come to all this, if…

'Names!' The teacher's shrill voice broke in on Izuru's unpleasant thoughts. Kira realized that all the words were stuck in his throat.

This time it was Renji who saved the day.

'Abarai Renji, professor,' he replied, hardly holding himself in check. He placed a hand on Hinamori-san's shoulder in a comforting gesture. The girl stepped ahead.

'Hinamori Momo,' she said, quietly, yet clearly. The teacher gave them a piercing look and then turned to Kira, staring at him expectantly.

Izuru swallowed hard.

'Kira… Izuru… Professor…' he whispered, praying for his voice to sound confident and yet dropping his gaze. He wasn't prepared for a violent pull by his shoulder.

'Look at me when I talk to you!' the man demanded, clutching Kira's shoulder painfully. 'Indeed… where has the discipline in that school disappeared to?'

Kira instinctively obeyed, but he momentarily came to regret it, meeting the teacher's pale, penetrating gaze. Murmurs arose amidst the students on the practice grounds, while more and more of them were gathering around their unfortunate trio. Izuru realized his legs were shaking.

_Stop it!_, his common sense commanded.

'"_Ya won't be reliable, ya know…"_

He clenched his fists painfully, trying to control himself, and straightened up. The teacher kept looking at him for a while, before he finally spoke.

'I don't remember you,' he stated venomously. 'Why?'

_He hadn't even noticed when you'd come!_, the rebellious voice in Kira's mind broke in. _And he's supposed to be the Reiatsu Control teacher? _

_Right_, he thought. But did it change anything?

Izuru felt his nails bite into his palms. Alright. Sink or swim…

'I was late,' he admitted. 'I'm terribly sor-…'

He was interrupted by a slap across the face that made him stagger. Stunned, he brought a hand to his cheek, stealing a glance at his friends. Hinamori-san looked shocked, while Renji was pale with rage.

Another murmur, this time much louder, passed through the crowd of students.

'How dare you?' the one who called himself a "teacher" hissed menacingly, grabbing a handful of Izuru's kosode. 'You show a total lack of respect and imagine that a mere "I'm sorry" is going to be enough? Insolent brat!'

He pushed Kira off, so hard that Izuru almost lost his balance. Luckily, Renji was quick enough to support him.

'The reason behind being late?' the "professor" demanded.

Suddenly, Izuru hesitated. He was never good at lying; moreover, he doubted if he could come up with a convincing excuse under these circumstances. And as for the truth…

'_I'd be grateful if this meeting stayed our little secret, Izuru-kun…"_

_I won't fail him. I'll keep my word. I want…_

_I want him to rely on me. _

He took a deep breath and stood unaided. He bowed his head.

'With all due respect, professor,' he replied, trying to keep his voice steady, 'I cannot tell you.'

The whispers among the students grew even more heated; stifled sighs and cries could also be heard. Kira noticed that some of his colleagues were watching him in disbelief; some were shaking their heads and others were openly showing how pitiful he appeared to them.

His friends didn't remain unaffected by what he had just said, either. A short "What?" escaped Renji's lips, Hinamori-san only drew a sharp breath. Yet, the one that his words made the deepest impression on was their teacher, his cheeks unhealthily red, nostrils trembling, face wry. Izuru barely resisted the temptation to step back.

'What?' the professor hissed, leaning over Kira and pulling at his kosode once again. 'Have I just misheard…? You refuse to answer your teacher's question?'

Kira Izuru hardly managed to control himself. Suddenly, he realized he was frightened — more frightened than when he'd felt Shinsou's blade at his throat.

Still, he couldn't tell the truth.

'Please, forgive me, professor,' he whispered. 'If only…'

'Enough!' the man cut off, releasing him. This time Kira didn't need anyone's help with standing upright.

'So that's how it is…' the teacher continued, grimacing with disdain. 'What a pitiable regress, indeed…' he broke off for a moment and looked around in disgust. 'You may not fully comprehend that, but once there were plain rules in this school. Oh yes… the students knew their place and showed proper respect to their elders and betters, and such impertinent behavior was simply unimaginable. We had discipline here back then… and the ones who dared to broke it were suitably punished. A pity indeed that the Headmaster got so soft over the years…'

'But… but Kira-kun didn't do anything wrong,' Hinamori-san broke in shyly, which, under current circumstances, should be seen as an act of exceptional courage. 'There's nothing to punish him for…'

'Again you open your mouth unasked, girl,' the man replied in any icy tone, his gaze crushing. 'Do it once more and you will regret it.'

Hinamori bowed her head, startled, in the meantime stopping Renji who was about to interfere.

'My sincerest apologies, professor…'

'"My apologies",' the teacher repeated ironically. 'That's exactly what I mean. You think, that if you apologize, you will escape the consequences for breaking the rules. You wouldn't have gotten away with that in the past… and that's how it still should be. You should feel that you made a mistake,' he shifted his gaze to Kira,' and that you're… suffering its after effects.'

Izuru didn't answer, unsure what he should say no to worsen their predicament any further. His heart was pounding like crazy. He had some really bad feelings about this…

'Maybe it isn't such a bad idea, after all…' The man smiled wickedly, and his eyes flashed with cruel satisfaction and… expectation? 'Oh yes… You will serve as an example to your friends. Let's show them what's the price for insolence and breaking the rules…'

Kira looked at him tentatively, afraid to even think about the meaning of these words. What was more, the teacher, having said that, stayed silent for a moment as if he wanted Izuru's fears to increase. Finally…

'Back to your practice!' he commanded, his voice not leaving room for objections. Silence fell over the practice grounds, the murmurs cut short abruptly. 'And you…' the professor addressed Kira, 'you will report after the classes to hear what awaits you.'

The rest of the lesson passed in an unpleasant, stifling mood. Nobody said a word and Kira could feel fleeting, frightened glances cast at him from time to time. When the classes were over, the practice grounds quickly emptied of people. Only Renji and Hinamori stayed by Izuru's side — and he was grateful to them.

He gulped, feeling the teacher's impatient gaze on him. He shouldn't tarry any longer.

He turned around and approached the man.

'I'm here, professor,' he said quietly.

The 'professor' gave them a look that clearly said they were as worthy as mud on his sandals.

'Twenty lashes,' he stated coldly, yet his eyes were closely watching Izuru's reaction. 'Ten for being late and the other ten for insubordination. Today after the classes. Enough of this slackness.'

Kira Izuru felt his blood run cold at these words. W-…what?

'What?' yelled Abarai-kun furiously. 'But…'

'But such punishments were banned long ago!' Hinamori protested at the same moment. 'You can't possibly…'

Fortunately, Kira noticed the teacher's sinister gaze in time and realized he had to react before these two would get themselves in trouble as well — and because of him on top of that, something that Izuru would never forgive himself. Besides, his offence could be trivial, yet still remained a fact…

He took a deep breath.

'Understood, professor,' he replied, bowing, his voice almost firm.

He felt his friends' eyes on him; Renji was shocked, Hinamori terrified. He realized he lacked to courage to turn around and face them.

The 'professor' only snorted disdainfully.

'Get out of my sight,' he ordered. 'And don't make me wait for you too long.'

**5.**

They left the practice grounds in silence. Kira felt the compassionate gaze of his friends on his back, yet he was too afraid to look them in the eye. He knew they would ask him questions that he wouldn't be able to answer; he had promised Lieutenant Ichimaru not to tell anyone about their meeting, without any exception. He was aware they would see it as a lack of trust on his part and that he would hurt them with his silence, and that wasn't a pleasant thought.

He memorized little of the classes that followed, though it might seem to others that he was listening as intently as usual. Yet, he was making notes without giving them much thought, and what the teacher spoke about the geography of Rukongai's surroundings didn't really get to him.

He tried not to think about what had happened and what was to happen soon; still, he didn't find it easy by any means. He couldn't believe that — so far he was a pretty good student who tried to work hard and avoid problems. He had never given the teachers a reason to punish him. Yet now…

He squeezed his eyes shut. How would they look at him now? What would the teachers and other students think when they got to know?

'Kira-kun?'

He opened his eyes, a little confused. Hinamori-san was standing next to his desk, looking at him with concern.

'Everything alright, Kira-kun?' she asked.

'Y-yeah…' Kira took a look around and realized that the classroom was empty. He didn't even notice when the lesson ended. 'Quite alright…' he added quietly, trying to be more honest with her.

Hinamori only nodded. She looked really worried — something that didn't make Kira feel better. He didn't want anyone to worry because of his problems… the problems he had brought upon himself.

'Gonna eat with us, Kira?' asked Renji, who had stayed in the classroom as well. Izuru turned to him, feeling a little lost.

'We have lunch-break now, don't you remember?' Hinamori explained. 'You haven't eaten anything today, have you?'

Kira gave her a tentative look. Indeed, he had spent so much time in the grove that he didn't have the chance to eat breakfast, and, to be honest, he didn't really think about it up to now. And it was not like he had anything to eat with him, either… He looked away.

'I…' he began, but, before he could finish, Hinamori grabbed his hand. When he looked up, he saw her heart-warming smile.

'Don't you worry, Kira-kun,' she said. 'We'll share with you… there's enough for all of us.'

Kira smiled weakly in reply. He was happy to have friends beside him, yet right now he would rather be left alone with his dilemmas. Especially considering the fact that he couldn't tell them everything…

They left the Academy building together. It was around noon, the weather sunny and warm, and the courtyard was crowded with students who decided to eat their meals outside — either alone, or in small groups. Normally, Kira, Renji and Hinamori would join them, finding a place to rest under one of the trees; today, however, they sat on the stairs, keeping some distance from others. Izuru understood they wanted to talk to him about this morning's events and felt a pang of guilt already.

'Eat, Kira-kun,' Hinamori urged him gently, offering him a share of her breakfast. Kira gave her an apologetic smile and took some rice. Strange, at first he had been very hungry, but now he didn't feel like eating at all. As if his stomach tied itself in a tight knot…

'You're afraid?' asked Renji all of a sudden, putting his chopsticks aside and looking at him closely. 'Kira?'

Izuru froze, not knowing what to answer. He couldn't say he expected that question, but, after all, it was Abarai Renji, for whom "diplomacy" was just one of these difficult words which he found hard to remember. Kira fixed his eyes on his hands.

'Y-…yeah,' he admitted softly. 'I think so…'

For a moment they sat in silence, deep in thought, till, at last, Hinamori smacked her hand against the stair.

'It's unfair!' she stated fervently. 'It shouldn't be like that! He had no right to punish you this way… you'd been late to a lesson, that's all!'

'Sure it's unfair,' Renji backed her up without hesitation. 'It's just sick… to punish like that just for being late! Some people would never leave the infirmary…'

'Abarai-kun!' Hinamori-san gave their friend a bit scandalized look. Abarai Renji just shrugged.

'Yeah, I know, the fact that others are late as well doesn't justify anything. But that doesn't change a thing in Kira's case…'

Kira cowered involuntarily. He knew that all too well without them reminding him.

'Maybe…' began Hinamori shyly. 'Maybe if you had explained it to him somehow, he would have treated you more… kindly…'

'Like hell he would have,' Renji interrupted her rather abruptly. 'That fucking bastard had been looking for an excuse to vent his anger on somebody… You think he would've cared for explanations even if Kira had told him?'

Hinamori bit her lip, saddened. Kira, who knew her usual optimism and faith she had in others, guessed that the current situation had to be really hard for her. Still, he didn't know how to console her and, besides, he felt quite embarrassed for another reason. However trivial his offence, he had still committed it, and the teacher had all the right to punish him, even thought Izuru had to admit it himself that the punishment seemed rather disproportionate to his guilt.

'By the way,' Abarai-kun continued, addressing Kira and breaking him out of his reverie, 'you still haven't told us why exactly you came so late. Believe me or not, you looked like a kid that had just gotten a candy…'

Izuru looked at him, alarmed. These were the words he was afraid to hear the most. He knew that, sooner or later, this moment would come, yet it didn't make the only answer he could give them easier.

'Come on, Kira,' Renji poked him lightly in the ribs. 'I understand you didn't want to tell that scoundrel, but we're different matter, aren't we…? Unless you can't speak about it in Hinamori-kun's presence…' he added, smiling in rather meaningful way, though Kira couldn't tell what exactly Abarai-kun meant.

He blinked, confused, which didn't escape Renji's notice.

'Ah, so you can tell us, after all,' said his friend, looking a little disappointed. 'Then quit being so mysterious and tell us where you've been.'

Kira's hands crumpled the fabric of his blue hakama. It was harder than he expected…

'I can't…' he whispered. 'Forgive me, Hinamori-san, Abarai-kun… I really can't tell you…'

Renji was staring at him as if Kira had just said that Hollows liked to be scratched behind the ears.

'What's wrong with you, Kira?' he asked, looking at him intently. 'Aren't we your friends?'

'You are,' asserted Izuru quickly. 'The best I've ever had. But… this time I really can't. I'm sorry… and please, understand…'

Abarai-kun kept looking at him, yet there was a strange glint in his eyes. Kira felt a pang of anxiety.

'Alright…' grunted Renji at last. 'If you wish, then keep it a secret, Kira-dono. And I thought you trusted us a little more…' he added, standing up.

'Abarai-kun!' Kira could hear the reproach in Hinamori-san's voice, but it didn't seem to affect Renji.

'I'll go look for Rukia,' he replied, his tone seemingly careless. 'See you!' He cast a glance over his shoulder before turning around and starting through the courtyard. He didn't look back even once.

Kira dropped his gaze. As he had predicted, it wasn't an easy conversation. Yet, he would have never thought that Abarai-kun will react so violently…

He let out a quiet sigh. He felt Hinamori Momo take his hand.

'He'll get over it,' she whispered as a consolation. 'Don't worry, Kira-kun…'

He looked at her hesitantly, head still down. Hinamori-san just smiled at him in reply, squeezing his fingers lightly.

'It will be alright, you'll see, Kira-kun,' she assured, clearly trying to comfort him. 'You know Abarai-kun can be rash… Though, I don't understand why you can't tell us either…' she stopped for a moment, a little embarrassed. 'I mean… I know you must have important reasons, but I… I think I would tell you two everything, even if… Well, maybe if Captain Aizen asked me…' she blushed all of a sudden and waved her hands abruptly. 'Oh, please don't mind me, Kira-kun, what am I saying, what you're going to think of me… Right! 'she exclaimed, her tone unexpectedly cheerful. 'That's a great idea!'

Izuru gave her a questioning look.

'Hinamori-san?'

'Captain Aizen!' Hinamori seemed really excited. 'He has classes in the Academy today! We could go to him and tell him about everything, Kira-kun! About the punishment, and how unfair it is, and all! He'll definitely help us!'

Hinamori took his hands and watched him expectantly, but Kira was just sitting there, without a word, too confused and scared to even speak. He didn't know why the very mention of the Fifth Division captain threw his into panic. Putting aside the fact that asking a high ranked Gotei 13 officer for help in such a matter would be too bold, this particular officer was Lieutenant's Ichimaru superior. Izuru would rather die than let Lieutenant Ichimaru know about his humiliation…

On top of that, if Lieutenant Ichimaru had been carrying out Captain Aizen's orders last night, then the latter wouldn't be too happy to hear that someone from the outside had gotten to know about it. And he would guess it for sure, even if Kira didn't tell him outright. No, that option was much too risky and it could have unpleasant consequences both for him and, first and foremost, for Lieutenant Ichimaru…

For Lieutenant Ichimaru had to be acting under Captain Aizen's orders… to Kira any other possibility seemed a heresy and a far-fetched insolence on his part.

'I… I can't, Hinamori-san…' he uttered at last, shaking his head. 'We can't bother Captain Aizen with something that trivial…'

'Trivial?' Hinamori's eyes widened. 'Kira-kun, what are you saying? We're talking about the… flogging…' she staggered at the last word. 'It's… it's a serious matter! Captain Aizen will understand for sure!'

Kira bit his lip. He had to somehow dissuade his friend from that idea without making her sad. After all, she only wanted to help…

'I'm sorry, Hinamori-san…' he whispered. 'I'd like… I'd like as few people as possible to know about it…'

'Oh, I'm sure Captain Aizen won't tell anyone!' Hinamori squeezed his hands. 'Please, Kira-kun, he'll help you for sure…'

Kira Izuru looked away. How he was supposed to explain that to her? No matter what he'd say it would still mean breaking the promise he had made this morning. Besides, Izuru wasn't sure if he'd be able to convince Hinamori Momo, even if she heard his arguments. After all, she considered Captain Aizen to be perfection itself…

'You're ashamed, Kira-kun…' His friend looked him in the eye with compassion. 'Aren't you?'

Kira looked at her closely, then nodded slowly. It was only partly true; however, such explanation sounded pretty convincing. Especially that, keeping the promise aside, he felt rather uneasy at the thought of telling anyone t h a t important about his miserable predicament…

'Alright…' agreed Hinamori at last, though she looked somewhat disappointed. 'But… you still need to tell someone! I understand that you don't want to bother Captain Aizen, yet you can tell one of the teachers at least! After all… such punishments were forbidden long ago!'

Izuru hesitated, once again unsure what to answer. To be honest, he would rather not mention it to anyone. He was still afraid of questions that could be asked and he wanted to avoid them, even at a high cost — though how high it would be he still couldn't tell. The flogging he had in prospect seemed like quite an unpleasant and painful experience; nevertheless, it remained something abstract to him so far. Kira wasn't entirely sure what he should expect.

He had other reasons as well. He knew that the Academy's authorities would react and solve the matter, but it would definitely take them some time to pass the judgment. Izuru remembered all too well how the Reiatsu Control teacher had been looking at Renji and Hinamori when they had tried to defend him, and he feared that, if they got involved in that case, they would have to face nasty consequences as well. Especially if they tried to somehow hinder the punishment the "professor" sentenced him to. Kira doubted the two could escape the teacher's wrath before he was dismissed. Izuru wasn't going to accept such course of events — the thought that his friends might sacrifice for him and suffer because of that was simply unbearable. He couldn't let anything bad happen to them. That was why…

'It… It really isn't the best idea…' he replied softly. 'I'd rather…'

'Kira-kun!' Hinamori Momo looked pretty astounded. 'How can you say so? We have to inform someone and stop him! Before anyone else gets hurt!'

Kira looked at her anxiously because Hinamori's raised voice was starting to draw attention; only a moment before a group of older students, heading for their classes, cast them quite inquisitive glances. Fortunately, Hinamori noticed the danger and controlled herself a bit.

'Please, Kira-kun,' she added emphatically, yet more quietly. 'We can't leave it like that… I can go alone if you wish, but…'

'No!' protested Kira rather vehemently. 'Please, don't do that… I don't want you… neither of you… to get involved… At least not yet,' he added, trying to soften his words, but with little success. Hinamori kept looking at him as if he were insane. He sighed.

'Please, Hinamori-san,' he continued, before the girl had the chance to speak. 'Just… wait a bit. At least until…' he gulped, 'I receive the punishment.' He looked her in the eye. 'Remember what Abarai-kun said? This… this villain wants to vent his anger on me, so… if he doesn't do it, things can get even worse… And if he got to know you were the reason behind that…'

He broke off, dropping his gaze. He found it really hard to speak about that. For a moment they just sat there in silence.

'Kira-kun…' Hinamori finally began, her voice a little strangled. 'I… Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate that you care for us so much, but… we have to think of others as well.' Her voice once again got steady while she continued. 'If we tarry, someone else may get hurt as well… You understand that, don't you, Kira-kun?'

He clenched his fists helplessly. Of course he understood. And he definitely didn't want to put anyone in danger, not only his closest friends. On the other hand, though, he wanted to prove so much that he was able to keep a promise… that he was one to depend on, even if he didn't have much skill…

He hung his head.

'I understand, Hinamori-san,' he admitted sadly. 'But… just this once… please, don't inform anyone… Maybe… Maybe Hikari-sensei will be back next week, and the problem will solve itself…' he added, though he had to say that was rather weak argument.

Hinamori clearly thought the same, for she just stared at him doubtfully. Finally, she let out a quiet sigh and shook her head.

'I do not recognize you, Kira-kun,' she whispered and Kira could clearly hear disappointment in her voice. 'What happened to you today?'

He felt the blush creeping onto his cheeks, but there was no way he could justify himself. Nevertheless, he dared to look at her pleadingly once more.

'Hinamori-san…'

'Fear not, Kira-kun, I won't go anywhere today,' she replied, clearly resigned. 'But if… If he does harm to anyone else…'

Kira nodded in understanding.

'Thank you, Hinamori-san,' he said softly. His friend didn't answer, looking hurt. Kira rose, feeling it would be best to leave her alone right now.

'I'll be going now… The break is almost over,' he stated apologetically. The only answer he received was an absent nod.

He felt guilt growing up inside him. He failed once again. In a short time he managed to hurt both his best friends… Wasn't there anything he could do right?

Kira sighed, casting one last glance at the sunlit courtyard, and dragged himself to the lecture hall.

**6.**

He spent the next two hours not even trying to pay attention to the lessons. He had deliberately took a seat near the exit — once the lecture ended, he planned to leave as fast and discreetly as possible. He didn't want anyone to take notice of him, and he definitely wanted to avoid meeting Renji or Hinamori. So far he had managed to remain calm — yet he feared that, confronted with them and with the punishment is prospect, his feeble determination might turn to dust.

On the other hand, he couldn't even be sure if Hinamori-san or Abarai-kun would care about him at all. After the conversation they'd had during the break, Izuru wouldn't be surprised. Right now he had rather low opinion about himself…

He rested his forehead on his hand. Apart from other matters — not to be taken lightly by any means — there was another thing on his mind, one he had kept out of his thoughts so far. It had only been mentioned in his conversation with Hinamori, and now Kira was wondering about it more and more with every passing second.

It was about no less than physical aspect of the punishment. Izuru was aware flogging undoubtedly meant pain — but it was rather enigmatic conclusion. To be honest, he didn't know what to expect. He had never been seriously wounded therefore pain — especially severe pain — was something unfamiliar to him.

How… how much could a lash hurt? What about twenty lashes…? His imagination was failing him in that matter.

Kira closed his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was afraid or not, but he was beginning to feel both uncertainty and anxiety growing up inside him and gnawing at his heart.

Would he bear up against it? Would he endure the punishment with honor? Or would he rather once again bring shame to himself and his close ones and beg for mercy?

The hand he rested his head on clenched into a fist.

_No_, he thought. _I'm going to bear up, no matter what. I will not cry. I will not beg. I will not…_

_I will endure._

All of a sudden he remembered Lieutenant Ichimaru and his wounded arm. The wound hadn't been too grave, but it'd had to be painful — and yet the Fifth Division's Vice-Captain hadn't as much as winced in pain. Actually, he had born with Kira's treatment with a smile on his face…

Izuru sighed quietly. Thinking of it now, this encounter seemed almost unreal; he would consider it a dream if not for the fact…

If not for the fact that he was going to face its consequences. Very real consequences.

_You have agreed to that_, a voice deep in his mind reminded him. _You aren't going to regret it now, are you?_

To regret? No, such a possibility didn't even occurred to him. He simply hadn't expected there would be such a dramatic turn of events. Led by his youthful sense of justice, Kira had thought he had done the right thing… however, the situation had gotten more complicated than he could have predicted. Wanting to protect what he had thought was right, he'd had to break the school rules and hurt his friends with an apparent lack of trust — and he wasn't fine with it. Everything was starting to feel so overwhelming…

Was that what adulthood was about? If it was…

The bell ending his classes rang surprisingly early. Kira raised his head in disbelief. Was it time already?

Yes. It was.

He swallowed hard, feeling a sudden chill and realizing that he didn't wish to leave the classroom at all… that he would gladly stay here, if possible…

_Coward. _

He took a deep breath, mustering his strength. It would do no good to tarry now; he would only delay the inevitable. And hadn't he promised himself to endure the flogging with honor?

Kira rose from his seat and resolutely headed for the door; other students, completely unaware of his fears, were passing by. Actually, he was pleased with that — it would be much harder for him to have inquisitive gazes bored into him. That way he didn't feel like running away, at the very least…

In the crowd of his colleagues, he reached the end of the corridor, and then, unnoticed, he went down the stairs. Fortunately, he knew where his destination — the office of Reiatsu Control teacher — lied; he had asked the elder years about that before the lecture. Izuru didn't want to risk and make the teacher lose the last of his patience; especially as there wasn't much of it to start with. Besides, the sooner he would take his punishment, the faster he would be able to…

Kira bit his lip. He truly hoped that Lieutenant Ichimaru would forgive him his being late… as Izuru didn't even dare to think that he might not be able to get to the grove. May the Vice-Captain of the Fifth Division wait for him just a bit longer…

He stopped for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, taking a look around. It was more quiet than upstairs —there were only examination classrooms and a few teachers' offices here. From what Kira had gotten to know, the one he was looking for was almost at the end of the corridor, to the left from where he was standing at the moment.

He swallowed once again, feeling nervous. What a… fitting place. Even if he cried, it was doubtful that anyone…

_But I won't cry_, he reminded himself firmly and, desperately trying to hold onto this one last piece of determination, he moved forward.

The first, the second, the third… the fourth door. It had to be here. He couldn't mistake that despicable reiatsu for anyone else.

Kira breathed in deeply, trying to calm himself. His heart was racing in his chest. He was trembling.

_One… Two… Three…_

_Courage, Izuru…_

He knocked.

An angry "Umm?" was the only answer he received. Izuru took another deep breath.

'Kira Izuru from the second year,' he replied, hoping his voice remained firm and steady. 'I came… for my punishment.'

There was moment of silence and then…

'Enter!'

Izuru complied and came in quietly, carefully sliding the door behind him. Then he stopped and bowed deeply.

The teacher came closer; Kira could feel his piercing gaze on him. He didn't dare to move a muscle, afraid of provoking some violent reaction.

'Well, well…' he heard, the words spoken in a vicious tone. 'Seems you've gotten more humble since this morning… Having a flogging in your prospect can work miracles, can it not? You're suddenly so willing to cooperate… To the wall!'

A violent pull at his shoulder took Kira by surprise; he staggered and almost fell. The "professor" — or rather the torturer — looked at him in disgust.

'Kosode and shitagi,' he ordered coldly. Izuru looked at him hesitantly, not fully understanding.

'So, you don't even know the flogging is given on bare skin?' asked the man with a sneer. 'That way the punishment… goes deeper,' he added, clearly satisfied.

For a while Kira just stared at him, unable to do anything. It wasn't about what the teacher had said — contrary to what the man might have been thinking, Izuru knew how the flogging looked like, at least in theory. It was the tone of this voice and that hateful reiatsu that sent shivers down his spine.

He realized it was going to be much worse than he expected.

He cowered, untying his clothes. His hands were slightly trembling, even if he tried his best to control himself. Yet, he was afraid, terribly afraid, and he couldn't pretend it wasn't so any longer.

_Maybe… Maybe someone will come…_, he thought sliding the kosode down his shoulders. _Someone will come… and stop him…_

_And see you humiliated?_, asked his common sense rather meanly. _Are you sure you want it?_

He squeezed his eyes shut. He was ashamed to admit it, but right now he would sacrifice anything, even his own honor, just to avoid punishment at the hands of this madman…

_Anything? What about Lieutenant Ichimaru's safety?_

He froze.

'Move, I don't have all day!' the "professor" reprimanded him sharply. Kira quickly removed his shitagi and approached the wall. His teacher looked daggers at him.

'Your hands,' he snapped. Izuru glanced at him uncertainly, then propped his hands on the wall. He bowed his head.

_I will bear up_, he thought, his muscles tightening in wait for the first blow. He held to this resolution as a drowning man clutching at a straw. _I will bear up… I have to bear up… _

The whip swished in the air and fell down.

**7.**

Ichimaru Gin was bored.

He was sitting in his office in the Fifth Division's quarters, with a pile of paperwork right under his nose, and he just couldn't convince himself to get to work. Filling the documents was so troublesome… so unexciting… so… tiring…

He sighed with resignation, leaning back in his chair. The chair rocked a little, balancing dangerously on its back legs, yet Gin didn't care. Though he was almost sure to hear another lecture about scratching the floor in his nearest future…

Gin smiled, reaching for a random piece of paper and folding it into a neat plane. Actually, it was the only reason why the pile of documents was gradually becoming smaller. He sent the paper plane into the air and was more than pleased to find out that it was exceptionally good. It had crossed almost the whole room before it landed next to the opposite wall.

He stretched in his chair. So very boooooring. Since his very return to the barracks…

Well, to be honest, he should have been rather glad about that. He was quite lucky — when he had finally appeared in the Fifth Division this morning, Aizen Sousuke had been leaving for the weekly captains' meeting in the First Division quarters. And later he was to give his guest classes in calligraphy. In the Academy.

Gin shuddered at the very thought of it. How could he have forgotten about that? After all, Aizen regularly visited the Academy, trying to win the students' hearts — and he actually succeeded. If he had somehow felt Gin's presence in its surroundings… if Gin had raised his reiatsu blockade even a bit too early, then…

He shook his head. He was really fortunate. Who knew what could have happened if he had stayed in the grove as he had promised Kira Izuru. Having decided against it, he had managed to avoid an immediate confrontation with Aizen as well as the even more dangerous chance of meeting him somewhere near the Shinigami Academy…

Gin sighed, resting his face on his hand and looking outside the window. It was a sunny September afternoon. He wondered if the boy had been very disappointed…

_Again_, he thought, surprised and even a little amused. Once again he was wondering about that…

He furrowed his brows. Ever since his return to the barracks, he just couldn't stop thinking about Kira Izuru. No matter how much he tried to concentrate on something else — the things he had gotten to know last night in the Central46, for example — his mind kept coming back to that morning meeting.

Strange. Still, as Gin suddenly decided, it could have been just a nice escape from the problems he didn't really feel like taking care of even if he should have. The very memory of the information he had read in the archives was enough to still gave him shivers — and the talk that Aizen would inevitably have with him later also wasn't something he would like to give his thought to right now. After all, the afternoon was so nice and idle…

Who knew, maybe he was still sitting by the stream, wondering where Gin had disappeared to…

He felt his usual smile fading a bit. He had no idea why the thought of Kira Izuru, standing alone in that charming little place by the brook and looking around helplessly, made him feel a pang of guilt. Well, Gin could only hope that he was going to be forgiven for that… though he really didn't know why he should care at all.

This time his smile widened. Izuru-kun was a really charming boy, even if he was clearly underestimating himself. Gin once again looked at the thin scratch that crossed his right forearm. _I wonder if he ate his breakfast, at least_, he thought. To tell the truth, he doubted that; it seemed that for Kira Izuru missing the classes for the sake of something as trivial as eating was one of the gravest crimes.

_Let's hope he won't fall asleep with his nose buried in a book…_

He giggled. And speaking of that…

Gin squinted his eyes, tapping his fingers on the desk top.

Yes. Definitely.

He would gladly have a persimmon.

Umm.

Or maybe a jelly?

He looked thoughtfully at the ceiling.

_Persimmon jelly_, he decided, rising from his chair. _There should be some in the storeroom… _

He headed for the door. Before he left, he glanced once again at the piles of documents on his desk. He simply wasn't cut out for this job… If he only were a captain himself and had his own lieutenant, who would take care of all that…

_The jelly_, he reminded himself firmly. There was no time for such nonsense as everyday's duties. The jelly was his priority.

He smiled mischievously and closed the door.

_I wonder if Izuru-kun likes persimmons…_

**8.**

Kira wasn't sure how he had managed to leave the teacher's office unaided. However, it seemed all his body was capable of at the moment. He was leaning heavily against the wall in an empty corridor, unsure if he was able to take another step. If anybody saw him right now…

He closed his eyes. No use wondering… there was nothing he could do about it anyway.

He staggered, barely able to stand. His head was spinning and there were black and red spots before his eyes.

_It hurts…_

Izuru bit his lip to stifle a groan. He hadn't cried. He hadn't cried even once, not even when feeling burning pain on his back after the first lash — though he had barely held back. He could still feel the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

Kira shivered at the very memory. He had expected pain — but what he had experienced was much worse than his expectations. He had a vague feeling that he would rather face a Hollow than go through such a nightmare once again.

He couldn't tell when he had stopped counting the lashes — after some point there had been only red mist obscuring everything. He only remembered the relief he had felt after everything had ended —for some time he had just stood still, fighting for every breath, until the teacher had sharply told him to get out. Only then had Kira felt the tears streaming down his face — and he had realized, much to his shame, those had been tears of pain. After all, he had promised himself he would endure…

Izuru sighed, tightening the grip on his kosode, thrown loosely on his shoulders. There was no time to think of it. He had to leave before anyone caught him here. He had to…

He opened his eyes. The corridor seemed blurred and swaying. Not good — but he had no choice.

Kira took a deep breath, mustering the last of his strength and determination to take another step forward. And then another one. And another…

After the next one he fell to his knees, suddenly hit by a vertigo. He instinctively clenched his eyelids.

_Just a bit more_, he thought. _Just a bit more and…_

He stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of footsteps.

_Oh no. This couldn't be…_

Izuru felt his heart thump in panic. What now?

The footsteps stopped for a moment, only to quicken while heading towards him. There were two people…

_What should I do?_, thought Kira desperately. _What am I going to tell them?_

He flinched when a hand touched his shoulder — but then hearing a familiar voice made him raise his head.

'Carefully, Abarai-kun… Don't hurt him…'

'I know that,' the other voice grunted. Strong hand on Izuru's shoulder moved a bit to squeeze his arm firmly. 'No need to lecture me.'

Kira Izuru couldn't believe that — still he dared to open his eyes. It was no hallucination…

'Hinamori-san… Abarai-kun…' he whispered hoarsely. 'It's… It's really you…'

'Of course it's us,' Renji gruffly cut him short. 'Who else could it be?'

Kira stared at them, dazed. To him it wasn't that obvious. After everything that had happened during the break…

'You couldn't possibly think we were going to leave you?' asked his friend a little suspiciously, as if he had read his mind. 'Did you, Kira?'

Izuru looked away, gratitude welling up inside him at the same time. Hinamori-san and Abarai-kun came for him… even after all those things he had said before…

Suddenly he felt his cheeks burning.

'B-but… you have classes…' he stuttered. 'You needn't to…'

'Fuck the classes,' Renji blurted out, only to blush a second later, as if he remembered Hinamori's presence. 'Who would have cared about them at such a time?'

'But…'

'Listen up,' Abarai-kun, quite out of the blue, looked him in the eye. 'Hinamori ran off from calligraphy. Especially for you. So stop your whining already, would you?'

Kira blinked at these words and moved his gaze onto Hinamori Momo. She was looking at him intently as if trying to take in his injuries.

'Is that true, Hinamori-san?' he asked, just to ascertain himself. 'From… calligraphy? With… Captain Aizen?'

'Oh, it's not a big deal,' Hinamori smiled, seemingly a little embarrassed. 'I'll make up for the lost time and I'm sure Captain Aizen…' she broke off, casting Izuru a clearly worried look. 'But it's not important, Kira-kun… Please, tell us… how are you…?'

Kira Izuru hesitated. The shock caused by his friends' sudden appearance was slowly passing; the weakness once again taking hold of him. With doubled strength.

'Not… well…' he admitted honestly, closing his eyes. Before he had time to notice, his kosode had slipped out of his surprisingly numb fingers, the garment sliding down his shoulder. This time he wasn't able to stop himself from drawing a sharp breath when the fabric grazed his lacerated skin. Kira heard Renji's stifled curse.

'Holy shit… Kira…'

'Abarai-kun?' asked Hinamori, the worry evident in her voice. 'What's… Oh…! Kira-kun…!'

Kira bit his lip. These two were his best friends — and yet he was ashamed to be seen like this. Therefore, he was more than surprised when he heard admiration in Abarai Renji's next words.

'Damn it, Kira… You should be howling in pain…'

Izuru opened his eyes, casting an anguished glance at his friend. It was getting so hard to retain at least some dignity… and he was slowly beginning to understand it wouldn't take long before he finally collapsed…

'Can you walk?' Abarai-kun asked, his gaze wary under knitted brows. 'You need to go to the infirmary, someone should…'

'No…' whispered Kira, half-consciously. Infirmary… no, it wasn't a good idea. They… they would ask… That would be… bad…

'Kira!'

Abarai-kun's voice sounded strangely distant. Izuru blinked and, much to his surprise, he realized that he had somehow ended up on his knees and his friends were watching him with both worry and anxiety. He looked at them, confused.

'The hell, Kira, we really should have somebody take a look at that back of yours, want it or not!' decided Renji in rather nervous tone. 'Enough with it…!'

'Abarai-kun, maybe we should…' Hinamori tried to interrupt him shyly, but to no avail. It looked like Abarai Renji had already made his decision and now he was going to introduce it, whether his friends agreed with him or not. Kira hung his head… It seemed Abarai-kun wasn't going to change his mind, no matter what…

'Come on, Kira,' Renji helped Kira stand up. Izuru didn't protest, he had no strength left for that. 'We'll soon find someone to help you. Can you walk?' Abarai-kun repeated, looking at him questioningly.

'I… don't know…' whispered Kira weakly, knowing deep in his heart the only true answer would be "no". He doubted if he would be able to take more than few steps, even with Renji's help… even if he did want to go where they were headed to…

_No_, he thought. _I can't… The risk… The risk is too great… I… promised…_

He practically forced himself to raise his head and look up straight into his friend's eyes.

'R-renji…' he uttered, his hand gripping Abarai Renji's kosode. Surprise flashed in these familiar brown eyes. 'No… Not there… Please…'

He drew a shaky breath, trying to say more, but suddenly he couldn't find any words… his thoughts were in disarray… monotonous roar of blood filled his ears… his eyelids became too heavy to keep them open…

'Please…' he managed to whisper one more time before falling into darkness.

**9.**

Kira wasn't really sure what had woken him up: the sunlight shining through his eyelids or the quiet voices speaking somewhere near. He knitted his brows, trying to make his still sleepy mind cooperate. Why was he sleeping? It was still day outside. Right now he should have…

He should have been in the grove by the stream, just as he had promised Lieutenant Ichimaru this very morning.

His consciousness returned to him suddenly, and he sat up in his bed rather abruptly, remembering all the events of that day. The sudden move made him remember one more thing as the searing pain in his back forced him to clench his hands on the sheets. Kira barely stifled a scream.

_Wait a minute_, he thought. A bed. He was lying in bed. On his belly.

Where… Where was he? In the infirmary?

Kira opened his eyes in panic — and froze, taken by surprise. He was in the dorm room he shared with Renji.

How? After all…

'You're finally awake, Kira,' he heard all of a sudden and turned his head in the direction the voice was coming from. He saw Abarai Renji, who was looking at him with both relief and worry; sitting next to him was Hinamori-kun, the feelings written on her face quite similar to those of Renji. Kira realized it must have been their conversation he had heard before.

'How…?' he asked rather weakly, expressing his doubts. Abarai-kun smiled a little wryly.

'Thank Hinamori,' he said. 'No need to dwell on that, anyway. How… Are you better, Kira…?' he added in a more serious tone.

Izuru closed his eyes. The pain didn't seem the only sensation anymore, but it still was the most intensive one. Kira sighed quietly.

'Not much,' he admitted under the expectant gazes of his friends. 'It… it hurts. Terribly.' He whispered, and saying it he was probably more honest with them than any other time this day. Hinamori-kun took his hand.

'I'm sorry, Kira-kun,' she said softly. 'You're much better at that than me…'

Kira blinked, a little confused, but Hinamori remained silent. The one who came up with an explanation was Renji.

'Hinamori healed what she could, but we're both poor at medical kidou… especially me… To tell the truth, there was so damn little we could do to help you, Kira… Sorry…'

Izuru dropped his gaze. They weren't the ones who should be apologizing, he knew that well. Yet he still hadn't even thanked them…

'I wouldn't be able to help myself…' he whispered. 'Thank you… Abarai-kun… Hinamori-san… And…'

'Get some more sleep, Kira,' Abarai-kun interrupted him suddenly. 'We will excuse you somehow at the evening practice. And we'll get some food; you're gonna need a decent supper…'

For a moment Kira just looked at his friend, feeling dazed, before he smiled hesitantly.

'Thank you…'

'You've already thanked us. That's enough,' replied Renji with a grin. 'That's what friends are for, silly. Come, Hinamori,' he continued after a moment, as if he was giving Kira time to think his words over. 'Kira needs to rest. And, after the classes, you're going back to the girls' dorm, we can't risk someone seeing you here…'

'But…'

'No buts. We'll manage somehow, won't we, Kira?'

It took Izuru a moment to realize that his friend was aiming these words at him. He turned his gaze away from the scenery outside the window.

'Sure…' he replied quietly, but his thoughts were already somewhere else. He hadn't kept the promise given to a Gotei 13's lieutenant… He had failed…

'So long, Kira. See you later,' he heard Renji say, and then the door closed.

For some time Kira just looked through the window, his heart clenched in pain. The sky was getting darker because of the gathering clouds. Suddenly he realized he would like someone to stay beside him right now… though he had just let his friends leave.

He shook his head. He didn't deserve anyone staying by him. There was no reason for anyone to care about such a worthless person as him…

Izuru slumped on the bed, hiding his face in the pillow. If there had been even a slightest chance for gaining Lieutenant Ichimaru's respect, he had lost it forever.

_Worthless… Completely worthless… _

**10.**

It was warm, sunny, autumn afternoon, just perfect for a little stroll, and Ichimaru Gin jumped at the opportunity right away. Quite surprisingly, Aizen hadn't had any objections when Gin had casually mentioned his need to go for a morning walk. True, everyone knew that the Fifth Division's lieutenant liked to stroll around, no matter what time of day or night, still, Gin hadn't expected it would go that smoothly.

Moreover, during Gin's evening report, as well as his morning one, Aizen had behaved as any other day. Gin couldn't be entirely sure, but it seemed that Central46 hadn't passed any disturbing news to the Gotei13 high-command yet.

Fine… The later they found out, the better for him…

He winced a bit. He wasn't really in a mood to dwell on the events of that night. He should rather enjoy the sights or something…

Gin looked around. The Fifth Division's barracks were far behind — that itself was enough to make him feel better — and now he was walking through an autumn forest. He furrowed his brows. He'd never considered himself to be particularly sensitive to nature's beauty; still, he had to admit that the Academy grove made quite a nice impression…

Wait a minute… The Academy grove?

He stopped for a moment, surprised, and smiled widely. Well, well, just look where he was swept off to…

Gin set forward, this time paying more attention to his surroundings. As far as he could tell, everything looked pretty, erm, nice… These, ummm, raindrops on the leaves… ekhm… and the stream, flowing among the trees… and the trees too. Definitely pretty. And colorful. Really, really nice…

He looked up at the sky in the color… erm, in the color of Iz-…

_Stop_, Gin ordered himself, thankful to all the gods that no-one could see him blushing here. Really, how did he come up with such an idea? And was it natural for the Gotei13 officer to muse over an Academy student like that?

_Still, the color was much the same_, he thought, amused, and forbade himself to further contemplate the nature point-blank.

Though, true to tell, it would be nice to find himself in that charming little place by the stream once again. Izuru-kun had found himself a really nice spot…

_Again!_

He smiled from the corner of his mouth, taking a turn into a side path. Chances that he would once again find the place he had accidentally ended up in the night before were next to…

_Wait_, he thought, coming to a sudden stop. _Wasn't that here? _

It was. It most definitely was. He recognized that tree. And these ferns. And this fallen tree-trunk…

Yet the conclusive proof of that was Kira Izuru sitting next to the log by the stream.

What was pretty interesting, the boy's reiatsu was quite distinct… Gin raised his eyebrows. Was it possible that he'd unconsciously felt it on his way and that it'd led him here?

A riddle, indeed. Still…

He cast another glance at Kira Izuru and shivered at the thought that anyone could sit on that wet grass; after all, there'd been a downpour last night! Soon, however, something else drew Gin's attention. He had no reason to hide his own reiatsu today, and yet the boy clearly didn't notice him. There had to be something important on his mind…

Gin smiled slightly. He could just approach Izuru and ask, as there was nothing standing in the way… and it'd be a perfect chance to apologize for his yesterday's disappearance as well…

Shunpo — and here he was on the river bank, standing right behind Kira's back. The boy seemed to be watching something on the other side of the stream…

'Anythin' interestin' there, Izuru-kun?' asked Gin casually. At the sound of his voice, Kira jumped to his feet, visibly scared, and the officer was about to turn it into a joke, when the boy staggered suddenly as if his head was spinning. Gin instinctively supported him, placing his arm round Kira's waist, but, much to his surprise, the boy flinched, wincing in pain.

Gin creased his brows, his perpetual smile disappearing for a moment. _What the hell…?_

'Everythin' alright, Izuru-kun?' he asked in his usual tone. The boy sat down again, dropping his gaze.

'I'm sorry, Lieutenant, sir,' he whispered. 'As you can see, I'm pretty bad at detecting reiatsu…'

Ichimaru Gin raised an eyebrow. Whatever was bothering Kira Izuru, it must have absorbed him completely, otherwise the boy wouldn't simply sit down in an officer's presence. Moreover… Was it only him or did he really hear the bitterness in Kira's voice?

He sighed inwardly. He found it hard to believe that such a trivial matter bothered the boy to such a degree. What was more… it didn't explain his rather violent reaction to Gin's attempt to help him. He looked at Kira closely.

'Bad day at school?'

Kira was still sitting, head hung down, hands plucking at the blades of grass.

'You might say so, Lieutenant, sir,' he replied at last, cautiously.

Gin sat down on the log. Izuru's answer still didn't bring an explanation; it only made Gin sure that something was wrong and that the problem was more complicated than it seemed at first.

He thought about the next question he should ask. As a spy, Gin had to excel at guessing others' moods and the reasons behind them, yet he'd never dealt with an Academy student. And why should he care for the reasons behind Kira's low spirits? Did he want to make up to the boy for his disappearance yesterday? And if so — why did he care at all?

Gin reprimanded himself. Such thoughts led to nothing. If he wanted to get to know something, he should ask, not unproductively wonder about that.

Besides… why the boy looked so… beaten up? His reiatsu… When Gin thought of it know, it felt somewhat… unhealthy. Actually, it was beginning to give him a headache.

'Any problems during yer practice?' he asked, trying to find the right track. Kira just shook his head in reply, still silent.

Wrong way, then. Well, Gin didn't expect Kira to pour out his soul to him right away; however, he counted on an answer that would give him even the slightest starting point.

He tapped his fingers on the wood. Ummm…

_Actually_, he thought suddenly, _shouldn't he…_

'Shouldn't ya be in class now, Izuru-kun?' Kira Izuru gave him a fleeting gaze before looking away.

'Captain Ukitake dispensed me…' he said quietly. 'I-I'm not ditching school, Lieutenant…' he added, sounding a little frightened.

Gin looked at him, surprised. It'd never occurred to him to blame anyone for ditching school, as it was something that even the best students did from time to time.

_Alright_, he corrected himself in his mind. _Maybe Kira Izuru didn't. _Yet, it still didn't change the fact Gin refused to see it as a problem…

Nevertheless, if Kira'd been dispensed from the classes, then something had to be wrong. Really wrong, to be precise — someone who saw ditching school as a serious crime wouldn't be kept in bed by mere cold or some bruises…

'Captain Ukitake must've had a good reason for dispensing ya,' Gin stated in a seemingly light tone, but he was watching Kira intently. The boy was silent for a moment, biting his lips and playing with a small stone he found in the grass. Finally…

'I… I'm worthless…' he whispered, his voice trembling ever so slightly. 'It's… It's all because of that…'

The stone fell in the stream with a soft splash, while Gin was staring at the boy in disbelief. What was that kid thinking?

'I'm afraid I didn't quite hear ya… could ya repeat that, please?' he asked, the mask of amusement firmly on his face. Kira Izuru drew his knees to his chest. _What in Hueco Mundo is wrong with him?_, thought Gin.

'I'm sorry, Lieutenant, sir…' uttered the boy meanwhile. 'I'm sorry I didn't come… yesterday… I know I f-failed you…'

Gin felt stupid at the very least. If that was one of the reasons for Kira's awful mood, then… Dammit, he should explain it somehow… Just how?

On the other hand, Kira Izuru must have had an important reason not to come to the grove the previous day.

And this pain showing on his face and evident in his reiatsu…

Enough of this sneaking.

'What happened, Izuru-kun?' he asked outright, in the commanding tone of a Gotei13 officer. Kira looked up at him, his blue eyes filled with fear.

'I… I deserved that, Lieutenant, sir…' he stuttered. 'I deserved… the punishment…'

'What?' snapped Gin, a little too sharply, a nasty feeling growing inside him. Kira Izuru cowered even more.

'T-twenty lashes,' he whispered sort of ashamed, resting his forehead on his knees.

_What?_

Gin stared at the boy, stunned. He couldn't quite believe what he'd just heard. He felt as if he found himself in Hueco Mundo, all of a sudden. Or as if Kira had told him that he was going to quit the Academy and start growing persimmons. He must have misheard him… Something like that simply wasn't possible…

Was it?

It was. If Izuru Kira had wanted to lie to him, he surely wouldn't have mentioned something as humiliating as the flogging, and Gin was sure about it. He felt his anger rising. He'd never been interested in the Academy's rules, yet he assumed they should protect the students. Besides, even in the Gotei 13, a military organization comprised of adults, no-one practiced such cruel and inane punishments.

How could they let it happen?

Gin clenched his fists. If the one who had sentenced Kira to this fell to his hands right now, he wouldn't escape meeting Shinsou's blade…

_Why do you care so much?_

He hesitated, biting his lip. Why, indeed?

The answer appeared right away and it was pretty obvious. He cared because he was the one to blame here.

Suddenly, he understood why the trees on the other shore seemed so interesting to Izuru. There was no way he could look at the boy now and keep his calm.

He realized that he was silent for some time already. Not good, he should better answer before Kira thought that Gin despised him for what had happened.

'For… being late,' he rather stated than asked. He felt Izuru's tentative gaze on him.

'Y-yes…' he heard after a moment. 'But… I deserved nothing else…'

Gin finally dared to look at the boy. Kira was blankly staring into space and throwing small stones into the stream.

'I deserved that,' Izuru continued after a while, his tone painfully emotionless. 'I was late for the classes and then fairly punished. I shouldn't miss these lessons, especially being so poor at detecting reiatsu…'

Gin blinked in surprise. Was it possible that Kira really thought so? To the officer such an attitude seemed unthinkable… After all, nothing could justify a flogging for just coming late to school… Besides… Why did he cling so much to that accursed reiatsu?

'What's more…' Kira went on, his voice somewhat stifled, 'H-Hinamori-san… and Abarai-kun… They too… Almost… Because of me… And… and then… They would have kept it a secret, I'm sure of it… I trust them and I know that, but… I still couldn't… I failed them… and hurt them… though they didn't deserve it, and yet… I couldn't tell them…' Izuru's hands clenched on his kosode-covered arms, and Gin once again felt a pang of guilt. For all the Hollows of Hueco Mundo, it seemed that the boy worried overmuch about his yesterday's promise to keep silent. 'I couldn't… to no-one… I gave my word…'

Gin felt his self-contempt grow rapidly. He wasn't mistaken, then… Kira Izuru had really suffered because of him and a promise he wouldn't have to make if Ichimaru Gin himself wasn't that careless in his plans. Dammit, if only the boy hadn't met him the previous morning… It might seem unlikely, yet the thought that he had brought harm to someone was hard to bear for Gin. Especially when it was about someone as innocent… someone who'd given his all to help him.

Ichimaru Gin involuntarily glanced at his arm and he cursed inwardly. It was a bitter knowledge… moreover, he still didn't know what he should do in current situation.

'And the worst thing is…' Izuru's voice suddenly dropped to a whisper, and Gin furrowed his brows anxiously. What else did the boy blame himself for? 'The worst thing is I didn't manage… I really, really wished to… I hoped that… But I c-couldn't…'

Izuru trailed off, the shame visible on his face. Gin squinted his eyes; the boy clearly didn't notice that even though he hadn't kept one promise — and not that he was to blame for that! — he'd stayed true to his word in the matter much more important, at least for Gin himself. It seemed, however, that the boy's current embarrassment was a result of something else than his sense of guilt… and Gin cursed his own stupidity when he realized what Kira meant this time. How could he forget about it? After all, the boy was suffering both in his soul and body… Twenty lashes…

_Ichimaru Gin, you dimwit!_

'I didn't manage…' Izuru's whisper drew his attention again. ' I couldn't keep another promise… You see it yourself, Lieutenant… I'm useless…'

He hid his face in his hands. The officer was almost sure that he would hear a sob now and he felt even worse. Yet nothing like that happened. Gin looked at the boy with admiration; Kira Izuru was clearly much braver than he realized himself. Still though, Gin would prefer him not to prove his bravery in such a way…

'Can't I do anything right?' he heard from behind Izuru's fingers. Gin suddenly felt irritation at the world as a whole, at himself and — to the smallest degree — at Kira Izuru. He had to do something about that… he owed the boy at least as much. Kira shouldn't torment himself because of something he was never guilty of…

'Look at me, Kira Izuru,' he ordered fiercely. It took a while before Kira hesitantly raised his head. He still looked a bit frightened.

'Do ya think that Gotei13 officers are monsters?,' Gin asked, watching Izuru intently. The boy's blue eyes widened in surprise, but then he fervently shook his head. Ichimaru Gin's smile instinctively widened. _Ya haven't met Zaraki Kenpachi yet. Or Unohana Retsu. Or… _

His smile faded.

_Aizen Sousuke ya've already met. _

'So… do ya think I'm a monster, then?' he investigated further. This time Izuru's denial was ever fiercer — and completely sincere, as Gin came to realize. He felt gratitude. Already there were some in Seireitei who…

He bit his lip. It wasn't the time to go all mushy over himself.

'Perhaps then,' he continued, 'ya think I'm an idiot?'

The boy looked at him in shock.

'Lieutenant Ichimaru…'

'Listen closely, Izuru,' Gin broke in, sitting on the river bank next to Kira. The grass was still damp, but right now it was insignificant. He should say aloud what needed to be spoken. 'From what I've heard so far, ya didn't do anythin' ya should feel guilty about … And I seriously don't think ya failed me,' he added, the boy looking at him hesitantly.

'That's right,' Gin continued resolutely, answering to Kira's unspoken doubts, though he didn't know why he was so determined to prove the boy his own worth. After all, despite Yamamoto Genryuusai's prophecy, the officer didn't let anyone close to him. 'It wasn't yer fault that ya couldn't come… don't think I can't understand it…'

_Specially, that I hadn't even waited for ya_, he thought, suddenly feeling really bad.

'But…' Izuru dared to cut in, nervously twirling a blade of grass in his fingers. 'I didn't keep my promise…'

'Ya did,' replied Gin firmly. When he was answered with a disbelieving gaze, he felt he should comfort the boy with a gesture; however, he wasn't sure what to do. He never paid attention to such things; Rangiku was much better at that. 'Ya kept your promise, Izuru,' he repeated, gathering his courage and gently placing his hand on Kira's shoulder. The boy visibly started, his eyes again widening in surprise. Gin went on, 'Ya kept it for the price of yer dignity and inviolability, proving that yer worth my trust… There nothin' I can blame ya for, Kira Izuru.'

'Lieutenant…'

'Ya didn't tell anyone, did ya, Izuru? Even when…' Gin coughed while his voice suddenly faltered, and he casually put his kosode together, pretending it was from the cold. 'Even when ya knew what awaited ya?'

'N-no…' Kira Izuru confirmed shyly, looking away. Gin patted his shoulder lightly.

'And that's exactly what I mean,' he said in this happy voice of his that could baffle everyone. 'Then could ya please look at it this way, instead of getting depressed?'

Kira bit his lip; however, he looked a bit more confident now. Gin smiled slightly. It seemed his 'therapy' had effects, at least to some degree…

'By the way,' he added, trying to lighten up the mood for good. 'What's the problem with reiatsu?'

Kira Izuru blushed in an instant.

'I… I don't know what's going on,' he admitted, giving Gin a hesitant look. 'I think I'm just really poor at it, but… It happens that I can't detect others,' he finished, blushing even more fiercely.

Ichimaru Gin raised his eyebrows questioningly.

'Ya have anyone specific in mind?'

'Y-yeah,' replied Kira, somewhat reluctantly. 'You, Lieutenant.'

Gin blinked, taken aback. Impossible…

'Yer stupid or only naïve?' he asked. Kira looked at him, astounded. The officer shook his head, feigning resignation.

'What do they teach ya nowadays? Didn't ya know that the Gotei13 officers can mask their reiatsu if there's such need?'

'So that's why…' escaped Izuru's lips. Gin cast him a truly amused glance.

'Yup,' he admitted. 'So there's nothin' to worry about.'

A pale smile played upon Kira's lips, yet the boy remained silent. For a while they just sat there, and Gin realized that he was admiring the view.

He squinted his eyes. An autumn, colorful forest surrounded them, the sun was shining on the dark blue sky, and the stream they were sitting by glimmered in its light. It really was beautiful… or it would be if Kira Izuru's reiatsu wasn't throbbing with pain.

_Twenty lashes_, thought Gin. That needed to be fixed as well.

He rose resolutely and smiled, meeting the surprised blue of Kira's eyes. He extended his hand.

'Come with me… Izuru.'

**11.**

Kira Izuru still couldn't believe that he wasn't dreaming. He hadn't started the day in the best of moods… While it was true that Captain Ukitake had shown much generosity — seeing that Kira hadn't been well he had dispensed him from the classes for the whole day — yet to Kira it hadn't been much of a consolation. He was too diligent student to be content with a day off — and he hadn't had other reasons to feel happy about, either. Through the night, which he'd spent half-awake because of the pain, he had managed to convince himself about the immensity of his blame and the rightness of his punishment, and among these self-accusations he had forgotten the most important thing. The promise, he had been willing to sacrifice so much to keep, had blurred in his mind, giving place to remorse caused by the later events. As a result, all he had been unable to think about anything but his mistakes and he'd kept reproaching himself, belittling his services and denying their importance. Therefore when he had finally found himself in his favorite place by the stream — Captain Ukitake had ordered him to rest, but Kira hadn't felt like returning to the dorm — he'd been in lower spirits than any before. He'd had an overwhelming feeling that he was never going to find his way and he would only walk in circles on the path of weakness and inefficiency. His proud dreams of becoming a Shinigami had seemed distant and practically impossible to come true for someone like Kira Izuru.

And then Lieutenant Ichimaru had appeared almost out of nowhere and so it'd happened that Kira, to his own surprise, had opened his heart before him, telling everything about his worries and dilemmas. And Lieutenant Ichimaru had listened to him…

Kira bit his lip, suddenly feeling embarrassed. When he thought of it now, such behavior seemed terribly bold; back then, however, it'd felt only natural to act that way. He'd kept speaking because there had been someone actually listening to him; even though Kira was only an ordinary and scarcely talented Academy student addressing a high ranked Gotei 13 officer. And then, after Kira had told him all about his distress, Lieutenant Ichimaru had spoken, and his simple, accurate words and his clear judgment had brought back the light to Izuru's world and the meaning to his decisions. At that moment he'd felt closer to finding his own goal and path more than ever before…

'Wake up, Izuru,' he heard an amused voice. 'Have fun.'

Kira Izuru momentarily blushed. As he had already seen for himself, Lieutenant Ichimaru was very… direct.

'Sorry…' he began, rather embarrassed, yet the officer didn't let him finish.

'Ya gotta stop apologizin' fer everythin', Izuru,' he reprimanded Kira jokingly. 'It gotta be the seventh time since we came here…'

Izuru blushed even more. 'Here' meant no less than the very heart of Seireitei. They were walking down these spacious streets — that looked completely identical, at least in Kira's opinion — for some time already, passing by the quarters of Gotei 13 Divisions. They were heading for the Fourth Division's barracks, as the Fifth Division's Lieutenant had explained to him.

_Strange_, thought Izuru. He was aware that the Fourth Division consisted of the best healers not only in Seireitei, but in the whole Soul Society, therefore he supposed he knew why Lieutenant Ichimaru was taking him there. Under any other circumstances it would seem much to bold to him; what was more, he would be afraid of feeling even more humiliated — and yet he felt no hesitation while following the officer.

He would follow him anywhere…

Kira closed his eyes, another memory of this morning coming back to him. The memory of a hand, extended in helpful gesture and a slightly disturbing yet all the same warm smile.

"_Come with me, Izuru."_

And so he, Kira Izuru, had stood up to follow Ichimaru Gin. He had taken that hand, letting himself be guided, though he hadn't know yet where the Lieutenant of the Fifth Division had wanted to take him.

Still, he had felt with all his heart that he wanted to trust him. Even if he couldn't tell why…

A quiet 'Ouch!,' escaped his lips when he bumped into something. His common sense chuckled with satisfaction. _You know, walking with one's eyes closed isn't the best of ideas…_ Kira reluctantly agreed with it and quickly opened his eyes.

No sooner he had done so, he felt like closing them again. The 'something' he had bumped into turned out to actually be "someone". To be more precise, a woman. On top of that — Kira gulped — a woman wearing a captain's haori…

Izuru suddenly felt faint and it had nothing to do with yesterday's flogging. It was… It was captain… Captain…

'Captain Unohana! What a pleasant surprise!,' Lieutenant Ichimaru exclaimed, clearly delighted. 'We've arrived, Izuru-kun,' he added, tapping Kira's shoulder lightly.

Izuru, who, having already recovered from the initial shock, had bowed right away, now straightened himself up — a bit too quickly, it seemed, considering the condition of his back. He staggered a little; fortunately, the officer caught his elbow in time.

Captain Unohana turned around to face them, her gaze intent.

'It's my pleasure as well,' she replied but her polite tone sounded inscrutable to Kira's ears. 'And that would be…' she began, shifting her eyes to Izuru.

'Academy's second year, Kira Izuru.' Kira bowed once again, more carefully this time. He felt that the last time one of his wounds must have opened; the pain he had managed to ignore so far, at least to some degree, became much stronger now. 'It's an honor to meet you, Captain Unohana,' he finished, barely holding back a painful wince. He noticed a shade of worry in the Fourth Division's Captain's eyes.

'I believe you have something to ask me, Lieutenant Ichimaru?' she asked. Izuru felt more and more uneasy under her scrutinizing gaze. 'What is it?'

'Could we get inside?' Ichimaru Gin replied with a question, placing his hands on Kira's shoulders in an almost protective gesture. Captain Unohana raised her eyebrows slightly.

'Of course. Everyone is welcome in the Fourth.'

Kira looked around discreetly and only now he realized they had been standing by the healers' quarters for some time already. Now they followed Captain Unohana through a vast courtyard, Lieutenant Ichimaru but a step behind Kira, his hand still on Izuru's shoulder. Kira couldn't quite understand it, however, he didn't dare to ask. Only when they entered the building, and Captain Unohana left them for a moment to discuss about some diagnosis with a younger healer, did the officer decide to explain.

'There's blood on yer kosode, Izuru-kun,' he half-whispered into Kira's ear. Izuru tried to look around, frightened, yet Lieutenant Ichimaru stopped him from doing so. 'Carefully,' he added. 'Try not to draw attention…'

Kira dropped his gaze. The officer's voice sounded as carefree as usual, devoid of any traces of worry or anxiety. And yet, for reasons best known to himself, the officer wanted to save him shame — something Izuru was really grateful for.

_What if he wants to save his own skin that way? And to avoid underhand accusations that it was him who had hurt you?_, his common sense asked maliciously.

Izuru bit his lip. That thought was… ugly. And definitely out of place.

Besides why should Lieutenant Ichimaru bring him here himself if he wanted to avoid the possible blame…?

_Ha! Why indeed…?_

He didn't have a chance to reflect on it any longer, because at the same moment he heard Captain Unohana's voice.

'Follow me, please,' she said and then led them through a bright, spacious corridor. Members of the Fourth Division, busy with their own tasks, passed them by as they walked and Kira cowered a bit, feeling as if everyone was looking at him. He felt Lieutenant Ichimaru's fingers tighten on his shoulder reassuringly.

_Yeah… Just keep calm…_

Suddenly, they stopped and Izuru realized they must have arrived at Captain Unohana's office. To his surprise he didn't see guards anywhere, but maybe the reason for that was the fact they were in hospital.

'Come in, please,' Captain Unohana opened the sliding doors, her words once again sounding more like an order to Kira's ears.

They entered; Lieutenant Ichimaru waited for Captain Unohana to take her place behind a low table, then he sat himself, urging Izuru to do the same. Kira dropped his gaze straight away. He still felt intimidated by this situation and the fact that his bloodied clothes could draw someone's attention didn't raise his spirits either.

'What is it, then?' asked Captain Unohana. Izuru didn't dare to raise his eyes, but he could feel her piercing gaze. 'What is it that you want to talk with me about, Lieutenant Ichimaru?'

The officer didn't answer at once.

'Well…' he began after a while. 'I'm pretty sure that, bein' the professional ya are, ya've already noticed that our Kira Izuru here isn't… well, how to put that…

'In his best shape?' finished the Captain of the Fourth Division. Kira started, a blush creeping into his cheeks. Was his weakness so noticeable?

'Exactly,' Lieutenant Ichimaru admitted. 'That's why I decided it would be best to bring him here, where he can get professional help.'

'That's highly commendable indeed,' replied Captain Unohana in a kind voice, yet Kira got the impression she didn't actually like the Fifth Division's officer. 'Of course, here in Fourth Division we don't refuse anyone help, yet… What I would like to know is why you brought the boy here, Lieutenant Ichimaru, instead of the school infirmary. The healers there are as professional as ours, after all.'

The Lieutenant of the Fifth Division kept silent for a while yet again, before he answered.

'Umm… I dare say yer gonna understand my motives once ya see his… injuries.'

Izuru raised his head abruptly, startled. Was… was Lieutenant Ichimaru suggesting that Kira should be taken care of by Captain Unohana herself? No… this simply couldn't be… Why should anyone of such a high rank waste his time on an Academy student?

For some time the Captain of the Fourth Division only watched them thoughtfully.

'If I'm not mistaken,' she finally resumed,' you wish me to tend to Kira Izuru in person? Is that so, Lieutenant Ichimaru?'

Kira pricked up his ears. No, even Lieutenant Ichimaru couldn't be that bold…

'That's precisely how it is,' the officer replied. Kira Izuru looked at him, stunned, unable to believe in what he'd just heard. It couldn't be real…

Contrary to what he expected, Captain Unohana didn't protest. He gaze was now fixed on Lieutenant Ichimaru.

'Am I right to assume,' she asked, 'that Kira Izuru's injuries are rather… special?'

'Well, ya definitely can't get such while falling down the stairs, for example,' the officer replied. 'As ya probably already know, I suppose.'

Kira gulped nervously. The Fifth Division's Lieutenant was really going too far…

'I already know, indeed,' admitted Captain Unohana with a charming smile that sent shivers down Izuru's back. 'You also seem to know quite a lot,' she added, a bit skeptically. 'Where from, I wonder.'

Kira looked at her in disbelief. Was that supposed to be a suggestion that Lieutenant Ichimaru could have something to do with Izuru's ordeal. He was about to explain the matter — especially as he felt rather uneasy being only the subject of their conversation — however, Lieutenant Ichimaru beat him to it.

'From Izuru himself, of course,' he said, smiling disarmingly. 'I've met him this morning and decided that he needed help. Isn't that so, Izuru?'

Kira, who didn't expect to be asked about his opinion, at first just blinked, confused. Whatever he had wanted to say a moment before was now forgotten, so he could only nod.

'I see,' Captain Unohana stated. 'And may I assume you would like me to… solve that matter?'

'I'd be most obliged.' Lieutenant Ichimaru was still smiling. 'As far as I know, such practices were banned long ago.'

'Indeed, they were. You seem really well informed, Lieutenant Ichimaru,' the Fourth Division's Captain remarked, with rather suggestive look on her face. The officer's smile got even brighter.

'Does that mean that ya'll give me this honor and comply with my little request?'

'I will,' Captain Unohana confirmed. 'And I think it would indeed be well for Kira-san to stay in the Fourth Division… until things get better.'

'That's great!' Lieutenant Ichimaru sounded all too happy to hear that. 'If it's indeed so…' suddenly he stood up, much to Kira's surprise. 'I'm leaving ya in the best of hands, Izuru-kun. Have a nice day, Captain! Bye-bye, Izuru!' he added all too quickly and, before either of them had the chance to answer, he disappeared behind the sliding door.

For a while Kira just looked blankly at the door, too surprised by the officer's departure to react in any way. It was so sudden — one moment Lieutenant Ichimaru was there, sitting right beside him, the next one, he was gone. Izuru felt as if he suffered some great loss… he couldn't let himself be disappointed, after all, the officer had done so much for him already…

'Kira-san.' He started at these words. When he turned his head he saw the Fourth Division's Captain standing next to him, a gentle smile upon her lips. He rose at once, dropping his gaze and muttering apologies, yet Captain Unohana didn't seem to mind.

'Come, Kira-san,' she repeated. 'Let us see what ails you.'

Her voice was calm and kind, and yet it didn't leave room for protest. Kira only nodded and with a quiet sigh he followed the Captain of the Fourth Division.

**12.**

Rain was rustling outside the Fifth Division quarters, its silvery curtain obscuring the view. Ichimaru Gin took another dried persimmon from the plate on his desk and thoughtfully tapped his fingers on the desk top.

He had been in a quite reflective mood whole day — and, indeed, he had a lot to think about. At work, the memory of the last events had absorbed him so much that he had finished filling the documents from the last few days in almost no time, and the pile of papers had finally disappeared from his desk. As far as he remembered, Aizen had commented on it — yet Gin couldn't remember his words right now. He had matters of much greater importance on his mind.

He winced a little, taking another bite of his persimmon. He had fled from the Fourth Division barracks as if a horde of Hollows had been chasing him — and he wasn't proud of that at all. He had left Izuru without a single word of explanation, though he owed him much more — after everything the boy had to suffer for his sake, a simple "thank you" just couldn't be enough.

Gin's smile faded completely. A flogging. A cruel, anachronistic punishment inflicted for the help that had been given without any hesitation and for staying true to one's word…

No-one had ever made such sacrifice for him.

He shook his head in disbelief. The morning before they had met only for the second time in their life — still, the boy had decided to help him. On top of that, later, when he had to choose between the flogging and breaking his word, he had gone for the first option and the pain brought with it. Gin was deeply moved by the trust he had gained and he still couldn't understand what he had done to deserve that. Or maybe that selfless loyalty lay in Kira Izuru's very nature?

Gin rose from his chair and stood by the window, looking at the pouring rain. He had another bite of the persimmon.

_Twenty lashes_, he thought. Twenty damned lashes. That's why he had practically run away from the Fourth Division — he had half expected that captain Unohana would ask him to witness Kira's treatment. Yet, Gin didn't want to know what had been hidden under the boy's white kosode. That one bloody mark was more than enough…

He kept observing the downpour, but his hand clenched on the windowsill. It was strange: though he felt a pang of conscience every time he spilled someone's blood, right now he was feeling as bad as if he had actually killed somebody. And yet he hadn't even drawn his sword… Still…

Gin bit his lip. To think that Kira Izuru had been enduring the punishment's outcome without as much as a single cry…

He was brave; much braver than Gin could have expected from him — still, at the same time, he was unusually kind. Did someone like him have even a slightest chance to find his place in the hard world of Gotei 13, so full of fighting and treachery hidden in the shadows?

Ichimaru Gin furrowed his eyebrows. Quite unexpectedly, his answer to that question was positive. He could imagine Kira as a Shinigami, and not just your everyday one, but a true officer: brave and loyal, sensible and kind at the same time. The boy had an undeniable potential and he could evolve into a great person — maybe even a future captain — if he only was provided with the right environment…

_Aizen_, he thought suddenly. Aizen had already picked him out. If he was going to lay his dirty hands on the boy…

Gin's knuckles whitened when he clenched his hand even harder. He wasn't going to allow such thing. If he could only protect Kira somehow…

He froze; the hand holding the persimmon stopped midair. Why should he care? Why did he want to prevent Kira Izuru from coming close to Aizen so much?

He hesitated. He wasn't sure what drove him, but right now it wasn't that important. He wanted to protect Izuru… wouldn't it be better then if the boy stayed away from the Fifth Division and, what couldn't be avoided in such case, from Ichimaru Gin himself?

Gin squinted his eyes. That was a strangely unpleasant thought. Suddenly he found himself torn between his wish to protect Kira in person and the need for keeping the boy away from Aizen Sousuke's plans.

He sighed quietly and returned to his desk. He sat down, resting his forehead on his folded hands. What should he do? And what was so special about Kira Izuru that he, Ichimaru Gin, couldn't stop thinking about him?

Gin definitely hadn't met anyone like that before — and no-one had made such a great impression on him. Izuru could be seen as an obedient and subordinated boy, and he certainly was one — but that wasn't all there was to him. Actually, it seemed to Gin that orders and duties became secondary when it came to matters that were somehow important to Kira.

Meaning that… Gin was someone important to him?

If anyone came into the room this very moment, he would see an unusual sight. There were but a few people who had ever seen the golden glint of Ichimaru Gin's eyes… and there was no-one who had seen them open wide in surprise bordering with shock.

Gin took a deep breath. Was anything like that even possible, especially considering the fact that they had met only three times and in rather particular circumstances? And, if it really was so, was Izuru himself aware of that?

However… it wasn't the respect for a Gotei 13 officer that had driven Kira Izuru when he had promised Gin silence the morning before in the grove. It was the awareness that the officer was no-one else but Ichimaru Gin.

Gin closed his eyes. He didn't want to dwell on that any longer — after all, he had promised himself not to let anyone get close to him. He kept at a distance even Rangiku Matsumoto and yet…

And yet he still wanted to talk to Kira Izuru, to ask him why — and to make sure how accurate his own observations were. However, Gin already suspected that Izuru wouldn't deny them.

What was more… he still hadn't thanked the boy which made him feel more gulity with every passing moment. He should make up for it as soon as possible…

Gin sighed. He was aware he shouldn't only thank Izuru but apologize to him as well — but he also knew he wouldn't find enough courage to do so. He would rather apologize with his deeds, making them look quite casually. Nevertheless, he had a feeling that no matter what he would do for Izuru, it was really important to say "I'm sorry".

He shook his head, leaning back in the chair. _Maybe one day… _

But he definitely should visit Kira in the Fourth Division. Still — he looked at the darkening sky — not today. Captain Unohana would never forgive him if he disturbed the patient's rest.

Gin smiled — a completely different smile from his usual one.

_Sleep well, Izuru. _

**13.**

Kira Izuru had indeed slept well that night. Actually, he had been sleeping through most of the morning and when he woke up and realized that, his conscience awoke as well. Luckily, he quickly understood that no-one in the Fourth Division was going to blame him for that and he calmed down a bit. And then he forgot about it completely because of Hinamori-san's and Abarai-kun's unexpected visit. They both looked quite tired (_"I would've never thought that kidou test would be so difficult… If anyone is going to pass it, that'll be Hinamori…" "Please stop it, Abarai-kun, I'm pretty sure you will pass as well."_), but they seemed really happy to see Kira doing much better. At the memory of the kidou test, Izuru once again felt a pang of guilt, but then he concentrated on other news his friends had brought with them — the news that turned out to be much more interesting.

It seemed that much had happened in the Academy during Kira's short absence. The previous afternoon a courier from the Fourth Division had delivered the message that Kira Izuru had been staying under their medical care (_"You have no idea what a relief it was, Kira-kun! You have disappeared so suddenly!_) and the same evening Captain Unohana herself had arrived in the school. Admittedly, neither Renji nor Hinamori had seen her, but the news itself was more than reliable — it came from Hisagi Shuuhei, who had noticed the Captain of the Fourth Division while returning from his exam (_"He has only one more left, isn't that great, Kira-kun?_). According to Hisagi's version, Captain Unohana had been leaving the headmaster's office — and this very morning it turned out that the teacher who had treated Kira so cruelly had been dismissed irrevocably. Izuru raised his eyebrows at hearing this. Was that what Lieutenant Ichimaru had been talking about when he had mentioned "taking care of things" to Captain Unohana?

_Lieutenant Ichimaru… _

He sighed softly, carefully putting his kosode on. After his friends had left — surprisingly enough, neither of them had asked him how he had actually ended up in the Fourth Division (Kira suspected they were overexcited because of the test and his own recovery) — Lieutenant Kotetsu came to check on him. After the examination Captain Unohana joined her for a short consultation, and both ladies agreed to release Kira from their care — unless there was anything else ailing him. There wasn't — and right now he was slowly preparing himself to leave the room. After all, it was late afternoon already.

He was indeed feeling better. Captain Unohana had spent quite some time healing his back the day before, and it certainly wasn't an experience Izuru wanted to remember. To make the matters worse, it had turned out that Hinamori-san's attempts to help him had only worsened his condition. Kira had understood little from Captain Unohana's quiet remarks — but he had heard something about the necessity of adjusting the spell to the patient's reiatsu. Izuru had taken note to never mention it in Hinamori-san's presence, and then, after the treatment had ended, he had expressed his gratitude to the Fourth Division's Captain and her subordinates for the received help. Captain Unohana just smiled kindly in reply and ordered him — softly but firmly — to rest.

And so Kira had been resting, his mood gradually becoming better as well. He wasn't really sure what had been the cause of that — the atmosphere in the Fourth Division, the fact that he hadn't been in pain anymore, or the memories of the unexpected kindness that had been shown to him — yet he was beginning to feel almost optimistic, and that was a fact. Right now he was also quite happy, even if in his own shy way. He was glad that he was returning to his friends, that Hisagi-san had passed his exams and that no-one else was to be punished the way he had been. Yet, what made him happier than anything else was the fact that Captain Unohana hadn't asked him a single question about the reasons behind his suffering.

However, there was this one dark spot that spoiled the otherwise perfect image.

Lieutenant Ichimaru, after he had disappeared from Captain Unohana's office, didn't come to see him even once.

Kira shook his head, trying to disentangle the ties of his clothing. It would have been much too bold to expect that the Gotei 13 lieutenant would have enough time to spare to visit people in hospitals — especially considering the fact that Izuru spent there just one day. He had no right to have such expectations.

And yet, after all the attempts to convince himself about that, he still felt a little disappointed that Lieutenant Ichimaru hadn't found even a moment for him… Just a few minutes would have been enough… just enough for Kira to thank him…

'Good mornin', Izuru,' said someone behind his back. Hearing that particular voice, Izuru froze at first, just to fervently finish tying his hakama moments later. He turned around shyly — and realized that what he had just heard wasn't an illusion.

On the windowsill sat the Lieutenant of the Fifth Division, Ichimaru Gin. And he was holding a paper bag full of persimmons.

**14.**

Ichimaru Gin had been sure that Kira Izuru would agree to go for a walk — he had actually suspected the boy would have agreed even if he hadn't fully recovered. Fortunately, he looked like he was feeling much better — the uncertainty and cautiousness from the day before had vanished from his movements, which was a proof that Izuru hadn't been in so much pain anymore. Absently, Gin smiled a little wider — it was a relief to know that.

They were taking a stroll in the Fourth Division gardens — to be more precise, in the part only available to the healers and thus much less frequented. At first, Izuru had seemed rather uneasy because of that, but after Gin's mischievous explanation he had visibly calmed down, though he had blushed at his words. Now he was leisurely walking beside Gin and looking around with dreamy eyes.

I was no wonder — even Gin had to admit that the garden looked really pretty in the afternoon's golden sunlight. It was a fair day, with a few puddles being the only remnants of yesterday's rain. If only the omnipresent smell of herbs wasn't irritating his nose…

Gin reached to his bag for another persimmon. He had come here to talk with the boy, and yet they had exchanged but a few words so far. Still, the silence didn't feel awkward, quite the contrary — Ichimaru Gin didn't feel like disturbing it at all. It was so peaceful… How long had it been since he had last felt such peace?

Nevertheless, he knew that he couldn't delay it too long. The boy had to return to the Academy before dusk. Gin took a deep breath, mustering his courage — he would never have thought he could feel unsure for such reason — and as he was about to open his mouth, Kira Izuru spoke first.

'Lieutenant Ichimaru…'

There was something in the boy's voice that told Gin to stop and look at him more closely. And, as soon as he did so, Ichimaru Gin understood that whatever he wanted to say would have to wait in the face of determination in Kira's eyes.

'What is it, Izuru?'

To his surprise, the boy suddenly bowed so deeply that Gin could see the fair hair on the back of his neck.

'Please, let me express my gratitude, Lieutenant Ichimaru,' Izuru began, a little shyly at first, but his voice sounded more firmly with every moment, 'for your help, support and concern. I do not know what I have done to deserve it, but I am honored that you have found some time for me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Lieutenant, sir.

'Izuru…' sighed Gin, astounded, but he regained his composure after a little while. The boy's words resembled an officer's report to his superior. He smiled mischievously.

'My, my, Izuru… Ya shouldn't be so stiff or they'll take you to the Sixth,' _and I won't be able to help you anymore_, he wanted to add, but he bit his tongue just in time. 'Go on, straighten up… my back hurts just from lookin' at ya. That's an order.'

At these words the boy finally moved, standing upright in an instant — just to finally look up at Gin moments later, his eyes both surprised and a bit frightened. However, both these feelings appeared to subside, and Kira seemed regaining his confidence, when he realized that Gin's words had been but a joke.

'B-but… I'm not in Gotei 13,' he replied softly, still looking embarrassed, though a smile crept onto his lips. Gin noted that humor was seemingly the best way to reach Izuru. 'And I doubt I'll ever…'

'But ya'll be,' Ichimaru Gin interrupted him firmly, realizing that he really believed in what he'd just said. 'Ya'll be for sure.'

'Lieutenant Ichimaru…' whispered Izuru and Gin froze, meeting a gaze so starry and so dreamy that he couldn't have any doubts anymore.

The boy had fallen for him — and it was both frightening and surprising. After all, Gin didn't want to bond with anyone — and yet, unknowingly, he had become… important for Kira Izuru. There was no need to ask, Gin could already see the answer in his eyes — and he couldn't understand. How could anyone had fallen for somebody like him? He was a spy and a murderer — for so called "greater good", true — yet it was kept secret from anyone in Seireitei but Yamamoto Genryuusai. Still, he was hardly liked — the fact that he distanced himself from others, his mischievousness and most of all his unnerving smile definitely didn't help him to find friends. And for someone as innocent as Izuru it would be best to stay as far away from him as possible.

Nevertheless, knowing that someone had taken such an unconditional liking to him made him feel pleasantly warm inside — not something he'd really felt before. And the fact that he was liked by someone as pure and kind as Kira Izuru made it even more special.

He smiled — a really heartfelt smile this time — and he decided to return their talk to a bit more… neutral ground.

'Whatta pretty moon over the greenhouse, don't ya think, Izuru?' he noted lightly. Izuru followed his gaze in the direction where the pale quarter moon was rising onto the autumn sky — and suddenly he let out a quiet laugh.

Gin looked at him with interest.

'Umm? What's so funny, Izuru-kun?'

Kira Izuru shook his head, once again seeming a little embarrassed.

'It's nothing, Lieutenant, sir… I just… remembered something. Something Abarai-kun have said about the greenhouse… That I've been doing something there and that's why I was late for school… Still, I don't know what he could mean…'

It was one of those rare moments when Ichimaru Gin didn't know what to answer. He could only hope that the reddening sunlight hid the blush that crept onto his cheeks.

_Well, well… Abarai-kun… Who would have thought… _

What was more, Izuru didn't seem to notice any second meaning to these words at all. Gin barely stopped himself from letting out an incredulous sigh. Could one really be so innocent?

Well, the answer was standing right before him, watching him with expectant, blue eyes.

Gin felt his surprise slowly turning into amusement. This situation was indeed pretty absurd. The very idea that Kira Izuru could be meeting someone — anyone! — behind the greenhouse seemed unreal. And Gin, most definitely, hadn't just thought that Izuru might actually meet…

Stop. He hadn't thought that, not by any means. Period.

'Anything happened, Lieutenant, sir?' asked Izuru gently, a trace of worry in his voice.

_Answer, Gin. And change the topic. Just change it. _

'Nooo, everything's fine,' he replied, a disarming smile on his lips. 'Want a persimmon, Izuru?' Gin looked into the bag and his face fell. _Oh dear…_

'Erm…' He scratched his head, quite embarrassed. 'Seems I've eaten them all…'

Kira Izuru let out another laugh — a very nice laugh, as Gin suddenly realized. He felt like spending more time with the boy, but it was getting late. Izuru would soon have to go back to the Academy, and there was still one thing left for Gin to tell him. The sooner, the better.

'Izuru,' he began. 'Wait up, Izuru.'

They stopped amidst the herb-beds. The boy was watching him intently, yet still with a bit of shyness.

_Speak, Ichimaru Gin. Isn't that what you've come here for?_

'Thank ya, Izuru-kun,' he said and for the first time this afternoon he was completely serious. Still, he hesitated before he continued. 'The Gotei 13 is going to be proud of ya one day… believe me.'

He should tell the boy how much he appreciated his help. He should tell him how much he was impressed by his loyalty, trust and selflessness. He should … but the words stuck in his throat.

Instead, he said the most sincere thing he could bring himself to right now — and it still was enough to fill Kira Izuru's eyes with light he'd seen in them a few minutes before.

'Lieutenant, sir…' uttered the boy shyly, blushing fiercely. 'I… really…'

'Ya really should head back now, Izuru,' Gin interrupted him. 'I've taken enough of yer time… ya must be dead bored by now,' he added with a smile, though he wasn't happy about parting with Kira at all.

'Not in the slightest,' protested Izuru quickly. 'I… I'm really grateful you have spent so much time with me…'

'So am I, Izuru,' Gin replied, his smile widening. 'But now ya better run to the dorm, unless ya wanna be late again… because of me.'

Kira looked at him with hesitation to smile radiantly just moments later.

'G-good night, Lieutenant Ichimaru…'

'Bye-bye, Izuru.' The warmth of Izuru's smile really was contagious. 'Go on.'

The boy ran through the autumn garden bathed in evening sunlight. Gin watched him go — and he kept looking even when Izuru had disappeared round the corner. Finally, he shook his head, turning his gaze to the slowly darkening sky. He didn't feel like returning to the Fifth Division's barracks just now — his current mood was to good for that. Gin didn't want to find himself so close to treachery and lies so soon — not when he finally felt that life offered him something good. Something he wanted to deserve.

_Kira Izuru…_

For the first time in years, he saw the light ahead of him.

For the first time in his life, he really wanted do believe in the Head-Commander's Yamamoto prophecy.


End file.
